Because two years ago, we were in love with each other and the idea of love. Because it was forever and always. Because it was a promise we made to the other. Because we thought it would be unbreakable. Because two years ago, I knew it was real. And now, I wish I could do it all over because I miss all of that. Here we are, different places and different people. Because we walked away from the other. Because it wasn't what we thought it would be. Because I miss you. Because I wish I could take back all the stupid things I said. Because I don't even know how to say hello to you anymore. Because the silence and distance is tearing me apart. Because I wish you'd say hello back to me. Because my world is shattering. Because..I can't do this anymore. Because my heart won't let go of you. Because I need you to tell me that it's going to be okay. Because I'm tired of holding onto my end of the rope. Because I'm just another face to you.

I know you burned my memory the day you walked away.  Wasn't too hard to see from my view. I could hear the one sided conversation you were having with yourself.

Guess you got tired of fighting the storms for me. You wanted something more than what I could give you.

I have bruises on my shins from falling down on my way to you. My arms are battered and bleeding from the mudslide that are the walls surrounding you. But I've enough strength to do one more dance with you.

My stomach is aching from me doubled over in pain. My throat is hoarse from screaming your name. But I've enough breath to ask you for forgiveness.

My eyes hurt from looking through millions of people trying to find you. My cheeks are stained from a thousand tears.

My chest is hollow from the words you said when you left.

The worst blow I took from you wasn't really from you. But. From myself.

I have blisters on my feet. Too many to count. But they're all from what we were and what we became.

I have blisters on my feet from dancing with your ghost.

All I remember is holding your hand, wrinkled but strong and sturdy.
A smile on your face, and tears of pride in your eyes.
Endless support and love is all I've ever known from you.
Never once have you let me fall down on my own.
And you've been fighting this battle on your own, but don't forget that I've been holding your hand the entire time.
So here's to a lifetime of love and happiness between us.
I'm blessed to be your granddaughter.

To the office of the government
To whom it may concern
I'm writing to request clemency (Clemency)
From fears who has I
To me as a butterfly
And so must go outdoors
And yet there's blood on his hands
But so with mine and yours
For every child of poverty
Who never stood a chance
For each who who said go with me
And each who who took his hand
For each who had bad counsel
And still they took the stand
For every deed of woman
And every deed of man
-Terrifying Sight, by Ani DiFranco

I'm not sorry that you're not around anymore.
I've stopped apologizing for your decisions.
I've stopped feeling guilty for not calling you back.
Most days, I wonder if you're just calling after finishing the bottle.
Maybe you're trying to make up for lost time.
You didn't lose time-you forfeited time with me due to your drug and alcohol infused lifestyle.
You gave it up after the fourth weekend that you left me in an apartment alone, with nobody to watch over me.
You left your child all alone for three days straight.
Then you came home smelling of alcohol and god knows what else.
So I'm done carrying your mistakes on my shoulders.
I'm tired of people making me out to be " my mother's daughter".
Well maybe I wish that I wasn't your daughter.
Sure ***** sometimes.
And next time, don't call my work when you're trying to get to me. Send me an email and I'll get back to you the next time I check it.

Ya know, if you know me as well as you say you do, you would know that fresh pain and sadness has been etched on my wrists. You would know that I'm hating myself and hating the way I look. You would've heard the fake smile in every message sent back and forth between us.