Rap is a craft and it oughta be,
But my rap is crap;
That’s just the way it comes outa me.

My rhymes and my rhythm are kinda feeble,
When I play a record sideways all I do is break the needle.

You lay a eight on its side and you get a infinity;
that’s how old I was when I lost my virginity.

Took my side piece out for a high class dinner
To show her I’m a winner
But I lost all my street cred when I ordered the sweetbread.

My homies formed a gang
And I tried to join the ranks,
But the only part of “gangsta”
I can handle is the “angst.”

I’d bust a move but my move buster’s rusted,
I’d pop a cap but my aim can’t be trusted.

One more thing to say
Before I depart:
Next time I’ll do a mic drop
Before I start.

Pizza? Out

I want to tell you the story
Why I cannot sing the blues
I want to tell you the story
Why I cannot sing the blues
It’s because I’m a white guy
And I wear inexpensive shoes.

I went down to the crossroads
To learn to play the guitar
I went down to the crossroads
To learn to play the guitar
When I walked into the crossroads
I got hit by a car.

I went back to the crossroads
I wanted to have it all
I went back to those crossroads
I wanted to have it all
When I got down to the crossroads
They turned it into a mall.

So I am done with the blues now
I need to change my style
I am done with the blues now
I need to change my style
Goodbye to the blues
I’ll try hip hop for a while.
... Yo!

I love to touch your skin,
Where everything else ends
And you begin.

When Rudolph became post-pubescent
His nose became non-luminescent.
The ladies, elated, said "Look, it's migrated,
And see what is now iridescent!