My breath
has long fleeted my lungs;
My body
is crippled tirelessly by pain;
My mind
begs for this moment to cease  

This is the moment to yield

Yet I press on...
Through the exhaustion.
Through my faltering muscles.
Through the wall of debilitation

My back is against the wall

Yet I will continue on...
Pass the limits of possibility.
Pass the boundaries of condition.
Pass the ambiguity of self.
'Till I have defeated my enemy
'or I stand before the gates of Valhalla.

My rival hits the floor

Regardless...
I can never accept Defeat
When its only separated from Victory
By a thin
           fine
               line.

I ascend its threshold

A paradox in itself
But then I saw her there across
the room
through flocks and flocks of 'beautiful'
silly seagulls --
              frivolously flocking,
                                            pecking at
the shiniest trash that flutters by
Only to swallow
pass
flock, peck again
-----------------------------------------------------------­---
She intrigued my mind
   through
the eye I saw her beak was flat                                y
no craning,
                  crooning neck                                   l
                                           and could not f
for she had no wings
... maybe we do not care to fly!
------------------------------------------------------------­--
Like the Red Sea
She-Moses split through the flock
to me,
beakless
surrounded by chronically cocking faces
all but one,
                                                            ­          all alone
She had been                                                     too
-------------------------------------------------------------­
Now next to me
                                                              ­                                        No wandering eye could care
in soundless conversation
proclaimed we
                       are together
as one we surely gleamed as gold
too bright for gulls to see
              ...Mastur-consolation?
------------------------­-------------------------------------
And so it's true
we were                   alone
                               together
perfect paradoxical bliss

Being unrealistic is what makes life worth living
it is what makes dreams come true
how do you think the Earth continues to grow
did the airplane not seem to be impossible
evolution, science are all the discoveries not profound?
so when you look at me and call me crazy
remember that what you say is insanity
unwise, chasing ideas that are too big for such a small girl
that the crazy ones are the ones we all remember
not that I want to be idolized or made a martyr
and when I speak of my dreams.. well
yes a change in this world would be nice
but that is a fight too big for just a tiny me alone
so I turn my head to my other dreams too
the smaller ones that make you shake your head even harder
like love and how I can find it anywhere
coupled with the fact that I would do something considered entirely abnormal
chasing love and a passion half the world over
and ignoring your idea of a comfort zone
comfort for me isn't sitting inside a bubble
accepting that this is the way things are
there is so much more out there, outside the sphere many find themselves trapped in
that when you open your eyes to, you find you are no longer blind
so go ahead, see me as crazy
a risk taker
an absolutely insane person
but the fact is
I am just alright with dreaming
because as I said earlier, unrealistic is what makes life worth living
and dreams do come true

Someone save me,
Please, someone, fast.
I need stitches on stitches,
All these cuts, I can't last.
Too old
          Too deep
                    Too tender
                              Too tainted
                                     burning
                                     infected

Just inside this body,
this bony, stony shell.
a heart's fire is burning out,
Life's but a walking,
                      breathing
                        ­  living
                              Hell

You walk for so long,
You love so many, so well;
But it's the loyal, ardent folk,
     who temper adversity with acumen,
That one may not expect to have fell.

I'll stand back up on these worn down soles,
Because I look around and no one offers a hand;
The only faces I see for miles around,
Are the faces of my new companions,
                                             laying on the sand.

You see, you can throw us all out,
Tell us were no good to you;
But when we wake up and look to our sides,
We see one another, hearts ripped right through,

They say there is strength in numbers,
And now I know this to be true;
A broken heart alone is somber,
Yet great joy can come from merely a few.

Hereupon I join these crestfallen denizens,
That we might serve as better lovers and friends,
For what you saw as weakness, our love?
Our weaknesses love now and always mends.
*
You know not yet, I fell for you,
     And all your imperfect beauty.
          You told me you tell no one your story;
               Even in your dreams, no one understands.

But I woke up on that beach,
     And you didn't know my story,
          Yet you held out your gracious hand,
               And you lifted my spirits high like yours,

Now I can do anything;
     Now my heart can  heal;
          Now I know where home is;
               Now, now I once again can feel.

You seem a bit sad but mostly mad
, So I know it was always so.
Though I should say the disease is strong
And attracts the sickest to your soul.

But you like the weak minded girl.

I think it in the heart That you keep a shard

Just to hurt and bleed

So you can pretend to Breath...

But what is life without a heartbeat?
What is health when You are diseased?

Perhaps you don't care and maybe you did But no longer believe, A word I have to say.

Try living a different way...

take me to the wilderness let me dance amongst the trees, with the night sky above let me feel the souls of my feet. spinning and twirling and whirling beneath the starry sky, comet trails and moon beams, with a twinkle in my eye. I am connected here, one with the earth, i live in a trance like beauty much freer and deeper than this dirt. through it i am connected but beyond it i exist, like the dreams of an endless saturday, motionless but still alert