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570 · Jun 2015
Rap is weird
They all say that a white boy can't rap,
So I gotta fire back,
I gotta bat and two straps in my back pack,
Did you get all that?
I'm coming in your battle swingin for your ball caps,
You better fall back, you better fall back,
Spit a verse at a camel and I broke his straw back
Cause he can't hack it, he won't have it
Run from the truth, like a pale face from a savage
I'm above average, Gimme a track to ravage
I can make a holy day black,
You might call me sabbath,
Imma take a car and imma crash it
Dying as I feel alive surrounded by these glass bits
I read a passage,
About not giving into sadness,
So I'll tear it up like some fabric,
Destroying rappers' become a bad habit
569 · Mar 2016
Nighttime Imaginings.
The moonlit hours haunt young people.
The ivory glow of our sentient satellite
Encases the adolescent mind
with visions both imaginative and lavish in their nature.

The scent of evening primrose inspiring the poet,
Casablanca lily's spill their essence onto the artists canvas.
Stargazers make eye contact with their idols.

We are the bright lights that poke holes through the dark.
567 · Jan 2016
Stuck in my psyche
You keep sneaking your way
back into my dreams.
I don't want to see you anymore.
I've been working so ******* this.
Get the hell out of my head you crazy *****.
I don't want to love you anymore!
Foul and morose is the mind of this soul.
How badly I want to tear my flesh from my bones.
Reach inside and form my heart into an iron lump.
Grab my brain and tear it down it's symmetrical half-line.
I long to eat bullets and wash it down with Clorox.
Why must I feel like this?
All I can think about is how metallic my own blood would taste.
Of how pretty the scarlet would look
On the backdrop of this living room.
One day, I'll find the courage.
564 · Oct 2016
Untitled
Everything we ever had was built on sand.
we were doomed to fail from the start,
But I enjoyed every minute of catastrophe I could spend with you.
560 · Oct 2016
Tired.
I'm so tired of screaming at myself.
I'm so tired of screaming at everyone else.
I'm so tired of pulling bottles from the shelf.
I'm just tired.
556 · May 2015
Descent (10w)
I am Vader,
Reminiscing as he delves into the dark
554 · Jan 2017
What order must they be ?
I've written copious amounts of poetry in my lifetime.
Stacks on stacks of notebooks and paper pads filled to the point of bursting.
But none of these thousands of words
Can arrange themselves in the correct order
To express how lovely I think you are.
554 · Jan 2014
Mother Smiles Forever Now
He stares into her eyes
Cold, and hollow.
Long past expiration
Yet still so blue and swimming with life
He keeps her around
Skin pulled back with a taxidermists touch
Remaining young, and eloquently soft
Forever
He moves her around
Like they're dancing in the rain
But the rain would make her eyeshadow run
Darkened tears streaming down
A sallow yet preserved face
Young and fresh forever
To do with as he sees fit
He's mad
Preserving mommies corpse
With the tenderest touch
She still eats dinner with him
But when he feeds her her mouth goes slack
Since he did not sow her lips shut
Eye lids peeled back forever
Mouth stuck in an Icy grin
He'd always loved his mothers smile.....
But she hadn't loved him
She was focused on the home owners association
And impressing her neighbors
While her son she loved to call darling
Was festering, desperately wanting her attention
But he was never good enough
He just wanted to make her proud
Now her face says she's proud of him eternally
He'd always loved his mothers smile..
Mommy smiles forever now
A cold breeze blows through my home,
A sneeze erupts from in my dome,
I can feel a winter cold,
Taking over me,
546 · Nov 2013
It's Been A While
It's been a while, since I've thought of you
In that way
It's been a while since I've held you close to my body
About last may?
It's been a while, yeah it's been a while
But it still pains me, seeing you with him each day
I write a lot of different poems,
About many short term lovers
But it's still just the memories of you.
That pull me under

It's been a while, since our last kiss
It's been a while, since I've cherished your soul
It's been a while, but I know that this
Is far from the last poem I'll write to you
544 · Sep 2014
The Cellar, Part II
PART II
Sam woke the next morning after a bout of nightmares to the smell of bacon and eggs. His favorite. He bounded down the stairs, all but forgetting the events of the previous night. He bounded down the stairs and greeted his mother with a grin. She returned the favor, but there were heavy purple bags underneath her eyes. Like she’d either been beaten or hadn’t slept in weeks. “You okay, mom?” Sam asked as she forked him some breakfast onto a plate. “Just fine, dear. Why do you ask?” She beamed. She seemed happier than ever. “Why were you banging the cabinets shut last night? That scared me.” Sam said shakily. “What? What do you mean, baby?” she seemed confused. She didn’t know was what coming out of Sam’s mouth. Sam reiterated “Last night, about 3:30, you were banging all the cabinet doors shut as loudly as possible. I thought someone was breaking into our house. Don’t you have an explanation?”
She chewed her lip and thought hard for a moment. “I don’t remember that at all, Sammy. I went to bed shortly after you. I didn’t wake up all night.” Now Sam was really concerned. Is his mom becoming schizophrenic? Multiple personalities? He knew that loneliness had been eating at her, even he could see that. Not having a man in her life has really kept her down. She felt overused and underappreciated, and Sam feared it was taking a toll on her. “If you say so, ma.” This was so strange. He’d never seen her like this. He decided to explore the rest of the house to take his mind off of it.
After eating his breakfast and rinsing his plate, he rounded the corner of the kitchen. On the far wall was a door he’d never seen before. A cellar door. He approached it and noticed that the wood was afflicted with woodrot and the lock was rusted shut. But he’d be ****** before that stopped him. He kicked the door and put his foot right through the dampened pine. He pulled his foot out, rached his hand through the hole, and unlocked it from the other side.

He swung what was left of the door open. It pretty much shattered into splinters when he let it down. “How long has it been since anyone’s been down here? I don’t even think Mom knows this is here.”  Sam thought to himself as he descended into the darkness. The concrete steps led to a dirt floor at the landing. Shelves all around. Sam couldn’t figure out what he was seeing. He was seeing specimens in glass jars, preserved. Small sharks, bits of plants and vegetables, a pig heart, seemingly all things you would find in a biology class or in the lab of a mad scientist. Beakers, mortars and pestles, bunson burners, and an operation table. He moved towards the table.He saw what appeared to be dried blood. There were embalming tools. Large scissors, pliers, a small hammer, a chisel and a collection of scalpels. These instruments had oil stained fingerprints, like the user was using Vaseline or something else slick like that. Could’ve been hair gel for all Sam knew. He looked up at the far wall, and the same message from yesterday was scribes there, only a little different. “YOU’RE BOTH GOING TO DIE HERE.” Sam was terrified. Peering ‘round the room, he saw nothing but the specimens. Hhis heart was beating fast. He felt that strange, cold feeling again. Suddenly, he heard a whisper. One that appeared to be sympathetic, pleading. It said in a raspy tone with the wisdom of experience. “Leave. Leave while you can. He’ll trap you here. The Master. Leave, run, now, boy!” He screamed and went upstairs. His mother was gone, out shopping. He ran into his living room and hid underneath a blanket until she arrived.
542 · Jan 2016
A Snowy Sunday
As the snow falls
I find myself captivated
By it's beauty,

It falls with no judgement,
Landing where it may.
Snow has no bias
On this Sunday.
I want to write a rap, but I don't think I got it in me
Kick it with my girl and marvel at our scars symmetry
I'm bothered by the ministry
Trying to tell me these churches work in synergy
Well I don't believe it
Take a priest as a slave, lash out, and beat it
While I'm contemplatin suicide, getting more heated
Having conversation with cold eyes where his severed head is seated!
I **** with Jesus!
Frowning upon his subjects for their tattoos and their body mods
I Speak with more sin than the ancient priests of Babylon
While I babble on,
I'm purely evil,
I'm sitting with a ****** rifle, perched on the steeple
My rage burns at a higher temperature than Jet diesel
Been festering inside, nursing it like it was fetal
Now I feel it's time for societies upheaval
I'm fully loaded
A poetic god ready to separate the broken from the chosen,
You can try to warm my heart but I assure you that **** is frozen
Take the first shots, Breathe in, line em up in my focus
Not anything escapes from this area that I be scopin'
I'm homicidal,
I'm on my set quest to rid the pests of false idols
Don't you move Mr. Preacher Man, I'm aiming for ya vitals
If it offends you, I don't care. I was just writing. Don't like it, don't follow me.
533 · Mar 2014
All I Want To Feel
Scream at me
Tell me that I’m ******* worthless
Because that’s All I want to hear
Abuse me
Leave welts upon the surface
Of my skin
Because that’s all I want to feel
Tell me I’m a fake
Leave me with mental scars
And bruises on my heart
The one that you managed to steal
Lash me like a slave
Treat me with disdain
Give me all the pain
I could never take
From anyone but you
All I want to feel
Is how bad you treat me
Lie through your teeth
Dance around the truth
I can’t take this ****
From anyone but you
An endless cycle of mental abuse
But thats fine by me,
Because it's plain to see
You're still the other half of me
And I'd be lost without you
525 · Mar 2015
Scribing at my scratch pad
You're dead to me
But I still feel you sitting
In the bottom of my stomach
Making me anxious,
Making me sad,
Causing all of the tension
That's driving me mad,
You're gone, and I'm glad
Because I knew that you were bad
I'm trying not to miss you
But you're the best I ever had,
Making me bitter, letting loose, with no filter
Scribing at my scratch pad
524 · Mar 2015
Wanderlust (10w)
Just another city kid
Trapped in the grip of Wanderlust
523 · Oct 2014
Awakening
I ache for knowledge,
I want to feel my spirit run through my veins
And into my brain
To awaken what's been sleeping there
I want to feel my chakras open
Throughout my entire body
And consume me with spiritual fire
I want to reach out to my community,
My fellow man,
And show them the path to awakening
Themselves
All I crave is pure enlightenment. I WILL reach Nirvana.
523 · Dec 2013
Stuck in the tube
I'm writing this poem from my brand-new iPhone
And I'm already consumed by it
But it's not just me stuck in the tube
Millions and millions of people
Oblivious to the natural beauty
That is our ever loving planet
Drop the phone, explore. a cave
Turn new stones, catch some waves
Humanity we have to save
From this monstrous epidemic
Of technological addiction
All experience is preceded by mind,
Led by mind,
Made by mind.
Speak or act with a corrupted mind,
And suffering follows
As the wagon wheel follows the hoof of the ox.

All experience is preceded by mind,
Led by mind,
Made by mind.
Speak or act with a peaceful mind,
And happiness follows
Like a never-departing shadow.
*I DID NOT WRITE THIS* it is a Buddhist teaching.
519 · Sep 2014
Nocturnal Diaries of You
These stars are viewed
Better underneath them with you
The song the crickets sing
Reminds me of the sting
And how alone I really am
Wishing you were here

I know you're sleeping
And I know you need the rest
But I can't feel lonely
When your head is on my chest

And I listen to you breathe
Deeply with closed eyes
And I wrap my arms around you
Reassuring that you're mine

But for now I'm by myself
Writing nocturnal diaries about you again
I'll see you in the morning,
So this night is at an end
519 · Feb 2015
Liquid Lapis
I miss your touch
The taste of your skin
Sweet like chamomile
and honey
Dancing on my tongue
Like venereal ballet dancers

It's only you that can light this fire,
Carnal desire,
Lay your head back,
Let me take you higher
And know that I'm not a liar
When I say your eyes drip liquid lapis
On a world that's only known
Black and white
I feel far from home, no matter where I go.
Living life,
Kicking rocks
****** weather,
Wet socks

Lonely walks,
Dusk falls,
Wind blows,
Earths call.
510 · Oct 2014
Oh, Lover
Oh, lover
Let me fall into your covers
And pull me under
Oh, lover
Let me take you to the mountain side,
With the mist that matched your eyes,
Oh, lover
Let me kiss your cheek
Gently, and watch you sleep
Oh, lover
I'll protect you till my dying breath,
Scream your name till no air is left,
Oh, lover
Your fingers fit in the spaces between mine,
How can one deny, we're perfect by design
Oh, lover
506 · Feb 2016
Will to Succeed
Such wasted potential.
How long has it taken me to make this decision?
Why have I been wasting these past few years?
I need to get myself on track
Before I'm to far off the rails to realign.
I will be something.
I will be great.
505 · Mar 2015
Chewing on Glass
She was dressed in the sins that matched mine,
She exuded imperfections as she walked
and her eyes bore the scars
Of seeing through a screen
In a life spent a life spent half-mad

She made me feel okay to be flawed
I no longer looked in the mirror
And felt like I was chewing on the glass
Swallowing whole the shattered shards
To hemorrhage what was left of my self-esteem

Yet, now that she's gone away..
I'm tearing at my skin again
Abrasing my blemishes,
My specks, and my spots
Re-opening old scars
Astonished by imaginary disfigurements.

Now I sit here, look in the mirror,
Blood is running down to the sink,
I'm chewing on glass again.
Yeah..
What does one do, when they don't feel whole?
How does one cope with a loss worse than death?
At least death is a certain, uncompromising finale.
You leaving has left me wondering, thinking to myself
About what I could have done to make you stay,
Or words I could have said to change your mind.
But I think the worst of it all,
Is knowing that no amount of pretty poems,
Or whimsical wishes upon dead stars,
*will ever bring you back to me.
501 · Dec 2015
Hello again, HP.
I'm sort of fine now since you left.
But I'll never be the same as I was.
When you left you took part of me with you.
My ability to trust.
My ability to vent.
My ability to see potential in someone.
Yeah, you took a hell of a lot from me.
But you'll never take my peace of mind.
500 · Apr 2014
Mental Catalyst
On this tiny piece of paper
Lies paradise
Awakening of the third eye
Pupils dilate and the giggles set in
My teeth start to clench and vibrations begin
From the top of my head to the tips of my toes
Energy is flowing and my problems corrode
Visual distortion
Things out of proportion
Walls bend and breathe
My hands clench my knees
And my peak has been reached
Everywhere I look, a visual change
Temporarily I'm mentally deranged
LSDs a way to get you feeling strange
But in a way that's so positive
It makes me think that god exists
My mood is lifted and my spirit soars
A happiness that I feel down in my core
A lone string of laughter
Till four hours after
And I begin coming down
And you can really enjoy
The drug that fills he void
Still hallucinating but not so belligerent
Off the peak you feel the difference
Acid a catalyst of mental deliverence
But expect to be up all night,
Till morning light
What a sight to see the sun
And your getting sober now
Sad because your high is over now
And it's time to lay down and catch some z's
You had a hell of a night, rest easy, pleased
I like acid a lot. Judge me.
I want to rip my flesh open,
And tear out your influence by force.
I want to split my skull with a chisel,
Insert a hypodermic syringe into my frontal cortex,
And drain my memories of you into a bucket of wasted time.
I want to regurgitate the anxiety you left me with
Into a black and sloppy pile at the throne of your falsehood.
An offering to set me free from these chains,
So held down, hands bound by your instabilities,
Your insecurities, that ate us both alive.

I'm so sorry it had to end this way.
498 · Jan 2014
Natures Sonnet
A wildflower gently springs forth to bloom
The pedals a darkened shade of maroon
And as I watch this from my darkened room
The night will come and swallow it to soon
The pedals of the flower start to close
And then it disappears into the ground
Where it goes, I'm afraid nobody knows
I know I don't, I hope it stays around
It grows underneath the oldest Oak tree
That any man hath ever laid eyes on
I will go there and fall on to my knees
And gently weep because the flowers gone
Overnight, sank into the moistened dirt
But I now appreciate Natures worth
496 · Oct 2014
No sleep since Monday
My eyes are weary,
Won't you let me sleep?
These bags don't lie
I've been up all night
and it's no secret

My head keeps falling back
My neck barely supporting it
I'm about to topple flat
And everybody's applauding it

This no sleep thing can't continue
I've ran into three doors today
And pushed one that said pull
I'm about to fall out
494 · Mar 2015
Renewal
Shoots of grass spring up.
As the rain is falling down
The Earth breathes new life
Spring Haikus
493 · May 2014
Vulnerable
I feel,
Helpless
Insecure
Vulnerable
And open

I hate that feeling
It's like my anxiety
Is the pillow thats
Being held over my face
Suffocating the happiness out of me
Slowly,
painfully,
Without a care
The life being stripped
from my bones
And all my tears
Dance down my cheeks
As rivers of melancholy
That I've tried so hard to dam
487 · Jul 2013
Change
I'm tired of writing about love,
I'm tired of writing about trust
Looking to the skies above,
Thinking about the memories of,
You and I,
Love is patient, love is blind
But why do I need, love,
When I can open my minds eye
And see a world never seen before
Envision a world of peace and no war
A world rid of the reasons our children are crying for
a world in which everyone is valued
Instead of thrown, like trash, to the floor

I'm tired of writing about change,
I'm tired of writing about space
Maybe instead of words on a screen
I can make these visions a reality
We can make the change, one person at a time
Curing the sick, healing the blind
When we all can work together,
We can achieve a global peace of mind

Change doesn't just happen,
It's caused by an event
Most often, catastrophic
But it doesn't leave a dent,
On the minds of those it didn't affect
We have ideals and values we want to protect
But we leave our kindness at war's doorstep
485 · Apr 2015
dopesick
It's been a long time,
But once again,
I'm dopesick.
482 · Dec 2016
Untitled
I find company amidst the strange.
Solace in anything idiosyncratic.
Normalcy leads to boredom,
And a boring life leads to sooner death.
479 · May 2015
Unattainable
You're the smoke I can't catch in my glass
The sand I tried to mold that ran between my fingers
I couldn't make you stay,
So you slipped away
With a grit beneath my nail
And the smell of stale smoke
Still lining my nose
477 · Jul 2013
Always
I said I'd love you always,
You said you loved me too,
We loved with greater strength than love
We were one, instead of two

I said I thought of you always,
You said you thought of me too
but I was far gone, on desert highways
when he was lying next to you

I can see through ,
See past your veil
I thought I mattered to you
But we wrote an unfaithful tale
The feelings I still tried to feel have failed

I'll lay in bed, counting my days,
Thinking back to the happier times,
The days, that we spoke of "Always."
477 · Dec 2015
Bars.
It's 3 pm, I was sleeping still
Wondering what the hell is inside of them sleepin pills
First things first, walk to my bar, grab a glass, and get it filled.
Whiskey is the juice of sensations,
I,
Sit cross legged during meditation
Contemplating the fate of a dying nation
In my basement, my body, the temple, distasteful
Falling apart like the homes of the Haitians.
I'm faded.
Trying to get straight answers from my family but they're all wasted
Drinking together us the culmination of our communication.
They say they wish I'd just ****** die.
Fine. I'd rather hear a crooked truth than a linear lie
**** em.
477 · Mar 2015
Saints & Sinners
I'm falling away from peace,
Back into my self destruction
And honestly, part of me
Just wants to let it happen.

It's much easier to be a sinner than a saint.
476 · Nov 2014
Charity & Faith (20w)
Though I may fall down,
My spirit will stand strong
Though I may be starving,
You should eat my bread
476 · Sep 2013
I'll Find Her One Day
she's out there, waiting for me,
Oh, it'll be such a sight to see
Her, with windblown hair
And emerald eyes,
I'm just a lonely poet, it isn't fair
That she will not be mine

I'll wander the globe,
Searching for the smile,
That will make the globe worth traveling
I'll cross the seven seas,
To find her on an unmarked island,
Awaiting the return of I,
the man she never met, but fell in love with,
Over and over and over again,

Her breath will smell of spring,
Her body will tempt the most solemn of Gods
She'll wander the street, flocks of men at her feet,
and she'll say
Nay, Ronnie is the man for me,
A certainty, this dream shall be
A dream, most certainly,
That plagues me every night,
always hurting me...
474 · Oct 2014
The Great "I"
I am I,
I am my face, my nose, my eyes,
I am my shame, my deceit, my lies
And for my sins, I am crucified
I am I,

I am my sweat, I am my bones
I am my death, I am the rose
That grew in the grass where no one goes
I am I,

I am my brows, I am my smile
I am my own impeccable style,
I am the one that stays a while,
I am I,

I am my hand, I am my pen
I am the love letters that we sent
I'm the one who won't repent,
I am I,
474 · May 2014
Nights Like These
It's on nights like these
That I miss you the most
I can feel the ghost
Of your lips
On the tip of my nose
Because you're not quite tall enough
To reach my forehead.

It's on nights like these
That I miss you the most
When I stay up all night
Rereading the notes
That you wrote me
Little pieces of you
That I cherish when I'm alone

You bring me the kind of happiness
I can't find in the ashes of a blunt
Or at the bottom of a bottle
You make me truely, absolutely happy
And I haven't felt that way
In such a terribly long time
And I know you haven't, either.

I'll never let you go, baby doll.
We'll make it together, you and me
Through it all.
473 · Jan 2016
Disposition.
Whenever I peer into the rising sun,
I am reminded why suicide isn't an option.
Whatever feeling that comes will surely flee
Like the tide from the breaking shore.
When the rain comes, I'd rather jump in puddles
than spring for shelter.
I guess it's all about your disposition.
473 · Jan 2015
Love yourself, like I do.
What can I do to make you love yourself again ? You literally make me the happiest person on earth. When I wake up you're the first thing in my mind and I dream about you when I sleep. My whole day is preoccupied with thoughts of you. When I think of beautiful sounds I think of your voice. When I think of beautiful sights I think of your smile. I wish I could do something to make you see this is all worth while. I want you to love you the way that I do. When you look in the mirror I want you to see a person that emanates light from all your pores and supernovas in your iris. You're all the good things I could never find in myself. My other half. But I've blinded you to these things through my own moronic action and ethical pitfalls. And for that, I'm truely sorry... I love you so much... Please don't leave me..
The pain is real ...
473 · Mar 2016
Ayeeee it's spring again.
The sun has shined today for the first time in weeks.
The bird song today doesn't seem to lull me to sleep.
The grass is starting to pucker it's lips
and the trees are stretching their limbs.
Flowers open to breathe fresh air,
The scent of spring is everywhere.
I feel renewed by this springtime hues,
Out with you, old wintertime blues.
469 · Oct 2014
My Sons Sons
I wish to write shakespearean sonnets
That will be remembered through the ages
I want to reach skyward and catch comets
My sons sons remeniscing through pages
And volumes that were thought to be long gone
Blowing the dust of and squinting at ink
Of crossed out verses and doodles I've drawn
I hope my poems make them stop and think
And ponder anything, and everything
Make them question all the authority
I hope they hear destiny beckoning
To prove wrong all the vast majority

I hope my sons sons will come and find this
I hope they will find this, and remenisce
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