I’d give you every coin I have in my pocket
Ask you to throw away those packs of cigarette
And flush down those butts down the toilet
I’d give you all the coins and ask you to buy candies instead
like we used to
When we wore matched shirts
with smears of ice cream on our chins
or skimmed milk lining the corners of our mouths
We’ve fought our wars, you and I
Pillow battles and word fights
And maybe you don’t remember but I
was the one who’d tuck you in at night
Sneaking a sip from your baby formula

Now maybe we’re too old for that
Maybe I’ll let you have all the coins in my pocket
And maybe I’ll let you buy your cigarette
And you’d let me have your beer instead

“It’s fine,” she said
I bet she lied
‘Cause in her head
She screamed, she cried

Dear heart
Be still for a while

Stop running around
Like you’re high
On caffeine
Calling names of them
Boys you hardly know

It’s a game we have
Not played
For long

So be still
Be still, my heart
Before you become
A falling spree

You are dust swimming
through sunbeams in the morning,
sunbeams that pass the slit of my bedroom curtain
like spotlight. You are the main act.

I wait for you to settle on the floor
and ******* away.
You ******* away
and I breathe you in.
I breathe you in despite

the irritating possibilities.
Despite you,
you, making me heady
you, making my eyes watery, red
you, making my nose drip, my heart bleed.
I breathe you in, still.

You are a moment,
the longest suspension of time
before a long awaited sneeze.

You are dust, love,
sometimes we all are.
You are that.
And antihistamine.
And much more,
so much more.

I want to find you
in the mist
in the mildew
in the slow, sure sunrise
Along the seams of the crumpled sheets
          bursting and stained with love
on the edge of the bed
I want to find you there
and share a singular bitter cup
sweetened with kisses
in between sips

I will run alongside
every highway
every route
to find you
in the next city
the next crossroad
the next nowhere
I will get lost
and you will too
only to find your home
in my arms
and I’ll find mine
in your heart

I want to mark my body with
bruises from  deep kisses
adventure laden scars
and a mouthful of Mraz’s words
inked under my skin saying
“We’ve got some joy in this thing”

High as I was
I took the jump for you
And as I did
You fell for her too
She took her leap
But she slipped from your hand
Now tell me, darling
Where do we land?

I swallow every bitter pill
Every ounce of thick liquid, red-blood
To get you out of my chest
To cough you out of my mouth
Leave
As I heave
Ignore the wheezing of lungs
As I take you in
As I let you out
Leave
Leave and let me breathe
Leave and let me live

I will scribble on your skin
all my feelings,
all my thoughts
***** with scratches
across words that sound wrong

You will know
all the lines that curve
into Os and Cs
into the tails of the ys and the js
and the gs
into beautiful phrases
badly written
on margins, on empty back pages
but nonetheless true

I will tell you
all the other yous I wrote about
You will know their names
Learn their stories

And I will tell you who I am
Lay myself between your sheets
I will bathe you with words
With ink
under fluorescent lights
Until we drown in each other