robin

robin Sep 2020

trying to figure out precisely where, on the road map that is your face
home is,
is harder then you think
when you are a gypsy soul
and my feet are rooted in concrete.
all i need is some sweet sustenance to fall right back in
your arms
sugar coated words filling up my head with what ifs and what could be's, humoring me. logic sweetly dripping down from my brain into my salivary glands like fresh wildflower honey..
after all isn't that love?
reckless abandon
i find myself in a scurry as i plaster my brain in yellow post it notes of the nice things you've said to try to remind myself that it will be okay, the sun will still shine tomorrow
but then a hurricane comes and all those post it notes get swept away and i am left wind chapped,
breathless battered and bruised.

you
are
this
hurricane
.

and
every time you come home to me, my love
i don't know which version of you will walk through that door
my skeleton reaches out through my skin to embrace you
but my heart hides deep within my chest and painfully pangs against my rib cage as words fall off your tongue
you are an inconsistency
like the ever changing tide
rolling, thrashing
then somehow still and peaceful.
i often lay awake at night feeling the aftermath of the waves and wondering how you can be both things at once
but neither entirely.

robin Aug 2020

i love you more

i have never traveled farther then where i lose myself in your eyes, tears of happiness rolling down my cheeks as i realize
there is no better place then right here, no more love in the world then the hot summer air that hangs between us
and you know,
who needs a plane ticket anyways, or those crazy friday nights
you are my one and only destination.
there is no better sight then your little blonde silhouette crumpled into a twin mattress, no greater joy inside of my heart then hearing you call for me in the morning and give me a warm hug.
anyone who ever said i ruined my life by having you early, was so very wrong.
you are the best possible place for me to be, my everyday adventure and my biggest sun ray of happiness..
you are my heart
and i am yours
and
when you are older and can understand what it means to hurt and to struggle i will tell you the stories of how i built this life for us
me and you
and when you hold me at night a little closer because you are afraid of the dark i will tell you there is nothing to fear
and when you tell me you love me
as you drift off to sleep
i will
stroke your head softly with a smile
and tell you
forever,

i love you more
.

#youngmom #children #littleboys #traveling #struggle #iloveyoumore

robin Apr 2020

forgotten & under appreciated

and i ache just thinking about it
all those times i needed you and you walked right out the door.
all the soft and tender midnight words i dreamed you had whispered in my ears that were soon replaced with cold lifeless ones.

and i ache

i ache for all the times my heart skipped a beat just to get thrown down the stairs

i ache remembering all those nights that i would lie awake
    alone.
right next to you.

        begging
to be touched
to be looked at
to be held
to be seen
to be felt
in all the throbbing places
inside of
    me
just one little kiss
one kind word
a moment of softness
   some sort of mercy

and i ache. i shiver and shake

        i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break

i cry and wonder when i’ll get a break.

#forgotten #unappreciated #underappreciated #stress #tired #relationships

robin Feb 2020

Burlap

alone
sitting on my little edge
of the world
quietly
listening
waiting
for someone to see me
to feel my very specific type of ache
to see my words for what they are
to feel the weight of them
to kiss me in all the right places
and say all the right things in the darkness of the night.
I cry out in absolute silence.
I swallow my loneliness.
throw my sadness in a burlap sack weighed down with rocks to toss into the river

no one will ever know the difference .

robin Sep 2019

Chernobyl

The fair is dead
The voices are quiet
Here we stand opposite of another
Backs turned with broken hearts.

robin Sep 2019

Skinny love

I think part of me has excepted that I will be alone for awhile
And it's a heavy feeling
An isolating one, but I know somewhere deep down inside my damaged heart that I deserve happiness and I'm not finding it here
I don't feel love anymore
Just distance
Resistance like a rubber band
You pull it back far enough and it just hurts you in the end
.

Empty

robin Jul 2019

wander

kiss me soft. kiss me soft like midnight rain.
barely there
absent most of the time
actually
hardly there in the head
in your head
only in your head
could you exist perfectly
everywhere else you're a mess
let's face the facts the line ends exactly where it started
everything is just simply a beginning and an end

fix my mind
make me a happy child with a wildflower soul
fasten a sunflower mane around the nape of my neck with a safety pin
safe, keep me safe in the dark hours of the night
hold me while i cry out to yesterday
as i remember all the times that slipped through my fingers

break my spine in two, make music for us to dance to by the fire
and i will tell you the whispers of the world

hold me where your heart is, show me the way, into you.