God gave me a gift
& I took it for granted.
He gave me the most
Perfect woman, on this whole entire planet.
I was in awe of her
She was one of a kind.
It was hard to believe
That she was mine.
She had beauty, brains
& is a wonderful mother.
Once I laid eyes on her
I could never love another.
She was my strength
When I was weak.
She was my voice
When I couldn't speak.
She was my sight
When couldn't see
My Leesah, My Leesah
Was everything to me.
I took her for granted
I stomped on her heart.
I refused her love
Now we are apart.
I never listened to her
When she had something to say.
I'd say, "Tell me later"
& be on my way.
She wanted attention
But I was too much into myself.
Because of my selfish ways
She's now with someone else.
I never hugged her
Rarely told her I love her.
We stayed in the same house
But rarely thought of her.
I had my on issues
So I ignored her attempts at love.
Because it was all about me
Me is all I thought of.
She talked about God
& how he keeps her in his grace
I'd say
"I'm watching the game, let me have my space"
She was always going to be here
That's what I believed.
Imagine my shock
When she told me to leave.
I left & then looked up to the sky
With tears in my eyes I screamed, "Why God Why"
I heard a voice that was deep
that answered my cries
It sounded quite angry, to my surprise

He said:
You squandered the gift
That I gave you
Now you have the nerve
To ask me to save you.
You are just mad
Because you'll be by yourself.
You did this take the blame
It's not on anyone else
I gave you a woman
Who was my pride & joy
But you treated her like
An old disguarded toy.
You ignored her
When she wanted to talk about me.
Now you want her back
But I'll refuse you plea.
You were so selfish & mean
So I let her go.
I'm sorry to tell you
My answer is no.

Now I'm without My Leesah
The love of my life.
The perfect woman
The perfect wife.
I lost her forever
Now I'm on my own.
I think of her quite often
When I'm alone.
I wonder how she's doing
Does she miss me too?
I doubt that she does
After all I put her through.
I'll live with this failure
& I hope I'll recover.
Forever & Ever
I'LL ALWAYS LOVE HER.
*
I Love You Leesah!

Love has hit me so hard
Left me **** near crazy.
I met the perfect woman
Who never ceases to amaze me.
Who's beauty is flawless
She has grace & style
Her eyes captivate me
& so does her smile.
Her long beautiful hair
Gets curly & falls over her eyes.
All natural, Homegrown
No weave to my surprise.
I love her perfectly shaped legs
So firm, so thick.
Women envy her beauty
It just make them sick.
She has a spirit that draws you in
Just like a magnet.
The first time I saw her
I knew I just had to have it.
Her love for God
Is what I love most of all.
Even he's memorized by her
Because he answers, when she calls.
Her name is Leesah
She has stolen my heart.
She's become
My beginning, my end, my finish, my start.
That may not make sense to you
But that was only meant for her to understand.
I love when I'm with her
I become the envy of every man.
I love how she is
So spiritually tuned.
She's special, one of a kind
& it's my heart she's consumed.
Leesah is my drug
I need her daily, for my fix.
Leesah is a habit
That I would never dare kick.
She could go anywhere in the world
& my love will go find her.
My love will be in front of her
Never behind her.
She'll know that I Love Her
Because everyday I'll remind her.
I'll never mentally hold her down
Or emotionally bind her.
I want to give her the world
& everything in it.
I'm in it for the long haul
I'm in it to win it.
Leesah is so perfect
She leaves me in a daze.
If you knew her
You too would be amazed.
She's a Queen a Goddess
She's so real, so true.
Leesah too bad
I never said these things to you.
Now I am all alone
Just me, myself & I
No Leesah, just this Jones.

My Sons mean the world to me
They keep a smile on my face.
The love they keep in my heart
Is a love that can't be replaced.
When my day is cloudy
Or if my day isn't so bright.
My Sons are my strength
They make all seem right.
My Sons make me laugh
When all seems so gloom.
They are gone from me now
I hope to see them soon.
I don't want to be a "baby daddy"
That term sounds so ugly .
I want to be a FATHER
As my Dad was to me.
He was always there for me
He taught me right from wrong.
He gave me strength
When I didn't feel so strong.
He taught me about girls
He taught me to stay away from drugs.
He was firm in his approach
But he did it with love.
He taught me how to tie a tie
Before I was twelve.
He taught me the good go to Heaven
& the bad go to Hell.
He taught me men shouldn't gossip
Men should always be strong.
The man should be the head of his family
That's where he belongs.
He taught me life lessons
He showed me how to be a man.
He said never do things blindly.
Always have a plan.
That's the kind of father
I would like to be.
But it's so hard to do
When My Sons are away from me.
I hope they know I miss them
I hope that they know that they are on my mind.
Please God don't let them forget me
Life shouldn't be this unkind.
Being with My Sons
Is an absolute joy.
They are amazing.
I truly adore My boys.
I love everything about them
They are perfect in my eyes.
Lord please bring them back to me
Please hear my pleas & cries.
I miss My Sons
I hate we're not together no longer.
Even though we're apart my feelings
For them has daily gotten stronger.
  *I Miss My Sons

These voices are still talking to me
Each day they get louder.
They call me when I'm
Eating, sleeping, at work
Even in the shower.
They tell me I'm a failure
The voices are so clear.
They dominate my mind
They are the only thing I hear.
They direct my every step
They took over my soul.
I've finally gave into them
They are now in control.
They are my new counsel
I can't think for myself.
All I need is my voices
I don't need anyone else.
They understand my pain
They know what I've been through.
They know I need pain relief
They told me what to do.
They told me how to end my torment
How to set myself free.
This is their recipe for pain relief
They tell me constantly.
PILLS
KNIFE
WRIST
PAIN
GONE
It sounds so simple
Maybe I should listen.
Maybe this is the solution
To the serenity I've been missing.
Maybe this is the answer
Because this life is **** hard.
It's left me broken & hopeless
I'm emotionally scared.
I've been broken to the point
To where I've gone insane.
Everyone has abandoned me
But my voices remain.
They stuck with me through the rough times
Always by my side.
They made their presence felt
They can no longer be denied.
They stuck by me
When I was emotionally spent.
Are these voices a curse
Or are they truly
Heaven sent.
Are these voices giving me good advice
They seem to know what's best.
Maybe the way to end this pain
Is to seek eternal rest.
I'm tired of this life anyway
These voices just might be right.
I think I'll take their advice
& have some pain relief tonight.

These voices won't shut up
They are making noises all the time.
I wish I could ignore them
Then I know I'll be fine.
I thought if I stopped listening
That would be the end of this problem.
These voices say they can help me
My issues they say they can solve them.
I've gotten to the point
Where I answer them back.
It's tiring to feel
Like my sanity is under attack.
People think I talk to myself
They think I'm crazy.
I'm just having conversations
With those voices inside of me.
The voices know all
They know my secrets, my fears, my desires.
They know how to push my buttons.
They keep my soul on fire.
They take me out of my character
They turn me to someone I don't want to be.
These voices stole my life
What more do they want from me?
The voices won't shut up
They talk & talk & talk.
Why won't they leave me alone
& find someone else to stalk.
I just want serenity
& some peace & quiet.
Unfortunately, these voices are a part of me
I can no longer deny it.
I'm ashamed to admit that
It feels like my life has been cursed.
These voices already made me hit rock bottom
Can it get any worse?
Can these voices & me coexist
Can we share the same mind?
Can they make my life positive
Or keep hurting me everytime?
Please voices release me
You've caused enough damage.
These voices act like I need them
If they leave, I'm sure I can manage.
Voices leave me alone
Or just shut the hell up.
I really don't believe that will ever happen.
I think forever we're stuck.

Just got out the hospital
These pills took control.
I'm sitting here with a sore throat
From a tube filled with charcoal.
I took 20 pills
I guess it wasn't quite enough.
The pills dared me to take them
I actually called their bluff.
They call out to me
They say I should end it all.
They say they could heal me
They say they won't let me fall.
They claim they could end the pain
They'll take away the misery.
These are the things I hear
When my pills are calling me.
My pills promise me peace
They promise me tranquility.
They tell they'll help me
But I listen with uncertainty.
My Father will be disappointed
My Mother would cry.
The pills tell me
Be selfish
You know you want to die.
My kids would be devestated
My wife might blame herself.
My pills say forget them
Only think of yourself.
Think of this pain
That you really want to end.
My pills tell me they love me
They are my true friends.
My pills have only my best interests
They claim they'll help me through.
They tell me:
Robert we want to get this
Dark cloud away from you.
My pills say the best release is
For me to be dead.
Are they really calling me
Or is it all in my head?
Maybe one day I'll listen
Next time they call for me.
I just hope the pills will do as promised
Take away the pain completely.

Voices get out of my head
Please leave me alone.
Whatever problems I have in life
I'd rather deal with it on my own.
I don't need your counsel
Nor do I need your advice.
I'm capable of making my own decisions
I think my own thoughts will suffice.
These demons inside of me
Are taking control.
They have taken over my mind, my body
Now they want my soul.
They want me to fail
They don't want me to succeed.
I want to be left alone
Right now that's exactly what I need.
I don't need inner voices
Trying to impose their will.
I just need calm in my life
Peace be still.
Why can't these demons
Just leave me be?
What is this fascination
That they have with me?
I've tried begging and praying
For these demons to depart.
They have taken over my mind
Now they are going for my heart.
These demons have changed me
From the person I used to be.
People who used to know me
Barely recognized me.
I don't smile anymore
I keep a scowl on my face.
The person I used to be
Is gone there's barely a trace.
Please demons go away
Please allow me to prosper.
You took my kids from me
& my wife
I forever lost her.
Demons & voices you've destroyed me
If this was your plan
You've succeeded
My soul has been dammed.