It takes a lot
doesn't it
to move you.
making you feel something again

whether it be a Keaton Henson song
or a soul shattering movie

something that can tug
enough force to move the mountains
but only cause a slight deviation of the soul
how accustomed are we?

all the emotions in line
following the whistle and commands
marching forward
you do not cry unless told to
love unless loved
smile without humor
point out the ever-quickening spread
of emotionally hollow organisms

it takes an earthquake to awaken your soul
how fucken sad is that
we have become so disconnected from reality

laughing when instructed
and crying when applicable

**** that

feeling emotions is the only **** thing
that reminds me I am still
******* alive

and I'll be ****** if they try take that away

What beauty have I found
In looking for something, anything,
I found that priceless diamonds and gems
hold no worth in her presence

Who am I...
Who am I to find such beauty?

What man can say
"I have found what all men have sought after
for all their lives but have never even seen a glimpse"?

Who am I to find Atlantis?
Who am I to find El Dorado?


Her elegance and radiance draw me in
The dreams lose their value
My addiction grows strong to this incandescent reality

Sit with me lady of fire
sing for me in silence
bring forth your autumn display
that never ceases to bringing ecstasy to my eyes

You are the fire that burns away
the barriers of my heart
my soul now ashes beneath the autumn leaves

In the words of Charles Bukowski
"There is no lie in her fire"

That's the beauty of it all
a stone turned inside out
a life unraveled to the audience

Such glorious pain to heal the wound
feeling it all
at once
alone

I think about it

we are all living these subjective lives
too afraid to feel
too ashamed to be ourselves
walking around with these tailor made expressions

what does it take to rip the core out of a man?
how much longer will the muffled lives be kept quite?

JUMP OUT YOU *******!

leap for joy and drink to your hearts content
love all and cherish the affection of those around
embrace you who are

someone put this heart in me
not a handsome one
not a muscular one
but one that is capable of love woven from the finest linen

It's rare you know.
When a woman possesses such gifts.
The strength and defiance of a God.
Yet the elegance of a swan drifting on a crystal blue lake.

She is a fallen one.

She has a dream carved into her mind
but fears keep it hidden.
She has a fire burning
but society keeps her at embers.

She has this love that even the Gods fear.
A woman who can inspire even a stubborn fool like me.
A goddess dressed in fire
bursting with the passion of a thousand lovers.

Yet few ever see it.
But I once did.
And it was
Beautiful.

She says everyone is special.
If you just took the time to get to know the person.

I've met the punk.
I've met the barbie.
I've even met the popular kids.

They are all pretty average to me.
Not much to separate the groups.
They all have problems.
They are all running from them in some or other way.

Empty vases in the window sill.
Different paintings on the clay
Yet empty, hard, tenacious exterior.
But oh so frail.

You know through all the time that has passed
and all the experience that I have gained.
I honestly thought I would have grown past this all.
Yet I feel that warm gush of memories.
Like a steaming bite of food. Too hot to swallow
yet too stupid to spit it out - or in the company of pretentious *****.
Either way I can't help thinking I should of learned by now.
After Zoe and Nanette...and Claire...Rene, Beth, and so many more.
I still fall into the same gear. Down the same path. And always wonder why I hit the dead end. and the bitter sweet irony is that
I know of the on-coming demise.
But that's what we do.
Doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result.

This poem has no message. Just thought that by sharing my
"idiocracy" with you, that maybe you won't experience the same.
Just maybe.

I want to love like the movies
The love-struck beauties
The hopelessly romantic studs
Perfect love among the flames
burning away all but the soul
I want to kiss as if I'd never kiss again
Tender lips like our souls
joining in sweet communion
our bodies merging as one
I want to know that love

But I am not special
My destined love lies in another mans bed
Their lips touching but their souls miles apart
I stand drunk ordering another
winking at the cute blond across the bar
My true love aches for me as I do for her
But I am here and she is somewhere
We all find alternative compensation

We pass each other at the market
Our eyes meet
but we look away
Because she is not perfect
nor am I
Two lost souls in a fish bowl
running over the same old ground
and so year by year we question
Where did it all go wrong?
How did I get here?

Somehow we meet again
share memories of marriage
children
"love"
and then and only then
will we know
Where it all went wrong