Heartbreak is the when you want to hold on but your hands continue to shake.
Heartbreak is laying in bed at 2am, wondering if they’re awake.
It’s like trying to take deep breaths but your chest hurts.
It’s wrapping yourself in blankets and his old shirts.

The silence without him is like a pin dropping in a silent room on a hard floor.
It’s like a cold winter morning when the birds are no more.
It’s like waking up at 3am and only hearing your breath  and your music silently humming.
Because it’s the only way you fall asleep since the silence echoes inside your head like constant drumming

You are the constant reminder to your friends to never fall in love.
You will fake that smile and the brightness in your eyes;
Until it becomes real because no one wants to see the poor girl who always cries.

I loved him then;Laughter filling the room and his smile warming my heart. His kisses keeping me grounded and his hands keeping me still. I loved him all and more.
But I still love him now,
With a broken heart and chest, and with the light disappeared from his eyes. I love him more than I did before because he keeps me feeling grounded even though he’s not holding onto me anymore. I love him more because I want to rescue him from drowning in his own sadness and endless searching of a need to feel complete. I love him more than I ever thought I could, But I love him because he reminds me of who I want to be with him even though I don’t remind him of who he can be and how he’s capable of so much more than he believes.

“I want to travel so I can get away from here, and replace memories of you with places you’ve never been, I want to push you so far out of my mind, and so far out of my heart, that when I hear your name, I no longer feel my heart breaking”