Slowly sliding halfway off the cushion
The pillow behind my head feels a bit too
Hard for my liking
It keeps my eyes peeled for something
Anything that might spark my interest
Enough, is there any such thing that exists?
No, I've decided, nothing could keep me
It is too late to resist, heavy as they feel
Eyelids close
like blankets covering windows
Cover these loud Windows please
Life is much too chaotic for the likes of me
No, I feel myself drifting
I am much too tired for anymore of this
Much much too tired

It doesn't make any sense
So I'll give up
The twists and knots
You've made in my mind
Too intricate now
Too many times you've
Looped through and through
I cannot pull it apart
It's too much now
Too many lies
Too much uncertainty
It was you
I chose you
With patience
I stood up for you
I withstood humiliation
With understanding
I listened to your accusations
saying hurtful things to me
Another twist
I allowed
Your intentions
not for me to be happy
Instead your intention
Is hurtful
And I am done
I am through
I am finally
Over you

I cannot love based on imagination
I cannot imagine love into my life
To truly tell I'm loved,
that it's not infatuation,
Takes a real man who wants a real wife

my heart is ******* in knots you know
each time I tried to let love in
"No!! Not again!!" It said
and twisted a new knot in
I don't believe I can get them out now
this last one, it's really too tight
It hurts my fingers when I try to pry
I tug and pull with all of my might
Now it's not just in knots
it's also all bruised
I think it's a hopeless endeavour
So I will go on with knots in my heart
For the rest of my life or forever

For the life of me
I cannot understand the monotony
Chasing tails up and down stairwells
Ludicrous!
How can you call this excitement?
I cannot remember the last 5 minutes!
This dreadful spinning
Responsibility is heavy
Calling all my friends and family
Government mandatory
Legalized this circus
There is no way around it
you must have insurance!!!
Now they will label me
Certainly the wolf at the door
Stacking up bills
You can't afford to ignore
So maybe one day
IF you qualify
You can give someone money
When you die

If only anything
Decisions especially
Were for sure and without a doubt
Only expectancy
If I could wrap my brain around
The why's or what's so crazy
How could I be so blind
Self destruction plagues me
I long for positive thoughts
For a life without longing
If only it were easy
I would never be lonely