My body is accustomed now to your absence
Fingers no longer reaching across rumpled blankets for warmth
That is no longer mine.
My mind is accustomed to your absence
Thoughts moving beyond the future we built
Finally freeing me to dare to dream where you are not
Daring me to build a life, grasp opportunities
Soley for my own souls fulfillment
no longer tied to yours
But still, my heart is not accustomed
I drift into the dream world, content
Only to find your face dancing through the interwoven tapestry of my subconscious self
I wake to find your laugh imprinted on the underside of my lids
And my heart betrays me with its subtle ache
Despite these nighttime relapses, I am releasing you slowly
Bit by bit my frozen fingers are pried off of memories too sweet to forget
Forced to drop expectations I built in your fading words
I am learning the anger that rides beside the sadness
Is only temporary blindness to the wisdom of love you brought me
The wild dance of freedom you injected in my veins
The otherworldly rush of adrenalin through my body
I am learning I have the right to be angry but also
that is is too powerful
an emotion to
waste on you
You who does not want any part of my erratic heart
This is the simple knowledge that is allowing me to shed this skin
you've left me drowning in
and to breathe free air
once again.

I still miss you
Even though I know I shouldn't
Your smile haunts me
Every time I turn the radio on

My brother asked me why
Some hours late after work
I sit in the cooling car, stars scattered like starbursts above
and let soft notes
Drift out from the cracks in the
Frame and I do not tell him
It is because I find you
In late night songs played dull and lonely
I find you in the drifting melodies
That hold my heavy head
And heart space where the beats echo
Faintly because there is only
Emptiness left
I find you in lyrics written by artists who have been broken in the same way
Only into different pieces.
I do not tell him it is my moment of weakness
Of loss
Of anger
Of hurt

I do not tell him
It is my way of letting you go
Each tear a memory released
Each note a whispered kiss blown
To the autumn wind
Each verse the broken promises turned to dust for the shadows to eat
Each song my way of moving on

I do not tell him
I just listen until dawn

I have lost
Breath
In moments pushed too fast
Too far
The rush caught me in its arms
And In it I have lost
Breath

Aspens tall remind me
of water deep
And coaxing in times when
I could walk strong
with grounded roots spreading
From
My soles into rich deep earth
Remind me
What it is to be one
With this beautiful
Land
Remind me how to
Breathe

To dance is to put poetry into movement

I glanced at you both,
and no longer felt the jealousy
that would linger
and peel at my insides

You never did treat me right
It was your loss to lose such
an amazing prize
You will always be looking for a piece in me
in every person you're with

There are secrets I do not tell
even to myself.
They are the same secrets
the cherry bossoms
know when they
proliferate the cherry trees.
Even as they prepare
to fall like confetti.

They are the
babbling secrets
Of  the mountain streams
as thier waters bounce stunned
into the rocks of the rapids.

Hush whispers the librarian
As the rows
and volumes of books.
Keep their dusty secrets
in her silence.

In the garden
The fluted speakers
Of the morning glory.
Sing only silence
Falling asleep
into dreaming nights.

Just about audible
the taunting voices
Of the
whippoorwill

Never tell
Never tell
Never tell.

If I sit on my roof
and block out the light from my house,
I can forget that I exist.
I can swim among the constellations
and lose myself in the bittersweet triviality
of our existence.
I can break free from the intoxication
of my life wasted on autopilot.
I can pretend that I am merely thoughts,
free of the weight of a life
and of society
and of reality.
I can question things
and depersonalize
and forget this anchor of a body
and all its bitter consequences.
But,
for now,
all I can do
is lay beneath the stars
and forget.

I watch the minutes
Slip into silence
As the river thunders dull
Outside my open window
Cracked wide a mirror for my heart
The pieces which you care for subtly
Murmer in the late night breeze
Your lips painting pictures for my body to fill in
You are lovely
Lively, you rush through my veins like the river
Dull to all except me
I can feel you deep in my bones
Your soul kissing mine under wide open skies and I am lost in the adventures found in your horizons
And all I want
Is a simple call
But instead I watch the minutes
Slip into silence
And the memory of your touch grows fainter
Dull
Like the river roaring
Outside my window
And all I want is to tell you
i love you
And you will be mine
At least in my mind
Forever
Even as your  touches grow fainter
And your body colder
Farther from my heat
i love you
i love you even as the minutes
Slip into silence
i love you even though
You're gone