I fall in love everyday
it's staying in love
I haven't figured out yet
.
.
.

I stopped smoking ****,
thinking that it was at fault
for the empty swirling,
I felt
like I wanted to curl into a ball
at my feet, and disappear
I haven't gotten drunk in weeks,
hoping it was alcohol that
elongated my funk and stole
crows feet from eye corners,
I quit all substances that could
make my mind turn in on itself,
I thought it would help,
make the world clear,
but that empty swirling is
still
here.

i did the best i could,
for who i was,
at the time.

remind them of their mistakes and remind them of how unworthy they were of your love and how worthless they are over and over again until the trigger has been pulled and there is blood on the floor surrounding you.