My first sip of water
Turnt to poision.
Lungs collapsed
I am mute
Vessels popped red splotches
reality's double
Sick I hang
Without a noose
Waiting for cardiac-arrest

i hope between your thighs i speak in riddles
you solve days later, sweat like moths rising
on your upper lip,
you speak in flash fiction between mine, stories
i linger in, swim in, fall in, wanting to hear it
again
again
again.

Friday night apartment visits dressed in bed sheets
with safety pins scraping against bare backs
center stage: the hookah, the piles of *****,
and always you
this is where it all began I think, pointing to a wall, a floor
I pour another drink, the floodgates fail
I can no longer stare and bite my tongue like before
the words spew out one by one

shutup
I love you
I'm going to get that ******* main floor apartment downtown and
it'd be so ******* rad if I woke up to you every morning
and I could write about how we ****** six times before class and
how your eyes were a new shade of green on October 14th and
how I think sometimes you aren't actually real or
how I think you made a huge mistake picking me
another shot

shutup
I love you
I just wish I was a dancer and yes I'm crying about it
because the way you make me feel can't even be put into words
let alone on paper
I just want to writhe around a room for half an hour
and show you how my mind feels on saturday afternoons in your arms
oh why can't my body do the talking for once
another shot

shutup
I love you
Lets just spend the rest of tomorrow in bed, **** what I said
maybe **** me too if you want
I'd be okay with anything really lets sleep, lets stare at a wall
lets talk about our dreams and how I didn't see you coming at all
just give me something good to write about
once I somehow manage to get away from you and back home

shutup
I love you
don't let me go back home

He asked me then
as we stared at the strawberries
lit in the fluorescent grocery store lighting
adjacent in their plastic coffins
red and ripe
clearly evesdropping

“do you love me?”

I hadn’t ever thought about it before
but I guess I did.

“but are you in love with me?”

their green stems were a reminder of home
their severed ends a scar of the violence they endured
yellow seeds clinged to their polished red bodies
the small taste of bitter to remind you,
nothing can be that sweet all the time

I cocked my head to one side
They had me captivated
I wanted their taste
Their raw delicious flesh

$5.99?

****. Too much.



“No.


                                              I’m not in love with you.”




Oh, thank God.

The blueberries are on sale.