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Rebecca Maxine Apr 2015
I often go through phases of feeling contemplative.
I could be sitting on the bus one day,
wondering where the people around me are going,
what lives they lead, what their motivations are, their interests.
Other days, I just don’t give a ****.
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2013
Blowing hair
Fast bike
Nice trail
Tired lungs
I wasn't sure where to go with this.. but I just took a wonderful bike ride and wanted to say something about it, so...
Rebecca Maxine Jun 2013
Please, describe every detail of your body
That I may imagine your outline
And how I would trace it
So tenderly, so softly
We would fit nicely together,
Don't you think?
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2013
Tall, dark, handsome
Kind, polite
Intelligent, thoughtful
You smile for pictures with them
You treat them with respect
Compliment their beauty,
Open their car doors
But it hurts
When you won't do
A single one of these things
For me
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
Does death tell
you anything more?
will the dimness of light
bring new understanding?
does it feel
like a dream?
are you aware?
one has never known
but I guess
it won't hurt
to find out
Rebecca Maxine Sep 2013
We all knew each other
And were well-acquainted
But does it count for anything
So far into the future?
When I'm sitting in my apartment
And you're at home with your family,
We won't be thinking of each other,
But the memories
Rebecca Maxine Nov 2017
Every day
Comes, goes
Crazy cycle
**** this
Wanna stop
Breathe please
Stop suffocating
You can,
Just believe.
Well ****,
I can't.
Just dying
Forever, always
Never stops
Can't breathe
Over and
Over again
Too tough
Can't focus
Can't think
Can't dream
Who AM
I NOW
Don't recognize
This face
Today, anymore
Two words
Each thought
Linear equations
Connect dots
Connect thoughts
Connect me
To something
Pretty please
Feels like
Stabbing wounds
Can't breathe
Can't think
Never stops
Over and
Over again
Same choices
Dumb, stupid
Why why
Why did...
Can't believe
Can't think
Don't wanna
Don't wanna
Think anymore
Just sleep
Just cry
Just die
Quietly, softly.
Forever, forever
Never stops.
Never wake,
Just sleep
Just cry
Today, always.
Written 11/10/17
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2015
Hope and joy are my allies,
As I battle and war my way through this life
The goal? The finish line?
We cannot see it, but it is glorious
It is magnificent and holy
Even now, I tremble at the thought.
We fight against evil, but remain in peace
Our hearts: perpetually warm and tender
For we are here in the name of love--
Not mere survival
I have chosen to fight my way through this world
alongside serenity, grace, patience, and trust
With whom I have made a pact,
A pact that has made us one with each other

They would never leave my side
Nor I theirs
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2015
The unknown, laughing

It glares at me-- stark, silent

Gripping me tightly
Rebecca Maxine Sep 2013
We're constantly looking at ourselves
In photos or reflections.
We can't get enough—
We're obsessed.
If I tilt my head this way,
Smile that way,
Maybe I'll look more appealing.
But let me tell you,
Look no further.
Instead, focus on your insides.
Because when you're body is cold and limp
And your face is distant and emotionless
It truly will not matter
Whether you look good or not
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
How strange it is
To be known
By everyone,
Yet still feel lonely.
It's
all
the
same.
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2015
The tone, the rhythm, the melody. Every beat, every snare, every drum.
The sound waves projecting, and then contracting.
The perfect construction of these elements, all streamed together uniquely.
The pace of your heart quickens, and a bubble rises from your gut--nostalgia.
His words, half spoken, half sung. You slip into a haze--
"You don't have to... change for me."
Slowly sinking deeper into your daydream, every pulsating note
brings backs visions of your youth, memories that had been long forgotten.
(You, lying on your bed, dead to the surrounding universe,
only aware of the nauseous feeling in your stomach when you think of him.
And him, the him whom you'd forgotten until this moment,
the him who seemed so important at that time,
the him whom you'd barely known--and still do not)
The fuzzy bass and faint piano come into play.
(Strawberry lollipops, school dresses, pig tails in your hair
Long summers, iced tea, doodles on your homework)
"I don't want you calling, please don't call," he says.
The layers, the balance, the beauty.

How could this have fallen into the blank space of your mind?
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2014
Somewhere, they'll find us
where?
somewhere
on our cross, together
the only place we knew we'd be safe
what if it were only one of us anyway?
they'd find us somewhere
Rebecca Maxine May 2013
You wouldn't know how I feel
When I scroll through old pictures
Or when I listen to a song
That I heard a long while ago
You couldn't understand
Because I don't don't even understand
These feelings myself
r.m.
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
Today, I went to a cold,
windy place–
many dunes (so much sand),
a peaceful aura
and loud waves.
(Take a breath, let it out.)
I sat and listened.

The rocks under my feet,
the salty taste of the air–
they’ll stay with me forever.
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
Why do you hide your face
behind flowers,
or posters,
or pictures,
or books?
Why do you fling up your hands
and sneak away at parties?

Stop that;
come out.
You’re such a pretty girl.
Rebecca Maxine Jul 2013
Will you know love when you find it?
                                                  Perhaps

­Or contrarily, it may sneak up on you,
Like a lion in the African fields
Wrapping it's jaws around your throat,
Encasing you in one foul motion

And you might feel the hints of love in your gut
Before the light fades completely.
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
Simple car
simple house
simple clothes
simple blouse

Simple eyes
simple hair
simple lamp
simple chair

But your mind?
Well, that isn't
simple at all.
I don't really like making things rhyme, but I guess it's ok sometimes...
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2013
with blurry eyes
and tear stained cheeks
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2015
Me: Getting lost in total abandonment--
Abandonment of dignity and self-awareness
Lost in the praise I was singing unto You
The Enemy: Striking again, pummeling me to the ground
Whispering to me the lie
that I had been abandoned by You
Me: Unable to stand with my body,
But taking a stand in my heart, remembering Your eternal
GLORY and GOODNESS,
Your everlasting loving-kindness,
Your grace, mercy, and faithfulness.
Shouting my praise to you now,
With even more conviction than before, having a greater hope
Knowing I would be restored,
Knowing that I was surrounded by love
The Enemy: Running and hiding
From the boldness exuding from me in the name of Jesus
He was defeated
You: Smiling, delighted with Your daughter,
Your faithful servant
Whispering to me a promise--
"My love will never let you go, for I am the everlasting God"
Rebecca Maxine Jun 2013
Sitting, waiting,
Sitting, waiting,
Sitting, waiting.
I would’ve waited longer, too
But my *** was numb.
Rebecca Maxine Mar 2014
Your voice, it resonates inside me
Your touch, my skin can feel that sensation
The way your eyelids blink, I can remember
The way your coat moved about you, I like to think of it

Your mouth curved into a slight smile, and my mind won't forget
"Your smell, it fills my soul" and I cannot forget those words
What is today and what is tomorrow?
They do not matter for me

This forlorn girl
Rebecca Maxine Oct 2015
My father, whose love exudes
From his mouth flows words of encouragement,
Songs full of depth, and lighted hearted laughter.

My father, blessed and wise beyond your years,
Knowing and guiding me through trials and adversities,
Passing along advice and signs of approval.

My father, whose arms bring comfort and delight,
Whose chuckle brings relief in times of distress,
Whose courage and obedience brought goodness through endurance.

My father, living well and teaching well
An example to his peers
A stronghold for his family

My father.
Rebecca Maxine Jun 2013
I think these "flowers"
That you've placed upon my head
Are starting to *dry
Rebecca Maxine Apr 2013
I am a flower
Here to bloom for only
A short while
And you, to bloom
By my side
But how naive of me!
I'd forgotten
To remember
How flowers will always
Wither away

— The End —