I have no limbs.
I have no organs.
I’m not tissues  
and cells.
I’m not atoms
held together by an
unknown force.
I am emptiness.
I’m nothing.
An explosion of pain.
I can feel my skin
peeling off;
I am falling apart.
Today, I’m an exception
from the biology book.
Today, I am a shrapnel
in a futile war.

you're not your hair:
you can cut it dye it curl it straighten it shave it bend it twist it;

you're not your face:
you can hide it under layers of make-up you can put on lenses you can change your face in a matter of minutes;

you're not your skin:
you can cut it draw on it bite it tear it;

you're not your body:
you can lose weight gain weight;

you're not your clothes:
strip them off;

never reduce
yourself
to
a colour
a number
an adjective
a noun

never reduce
yourself
to a simple
word

you are
the thoughts you have at 3 a.m.
the lame jokes you tell your friends
the art you create
the books you read
the pages you have dog-eared
the quotes you have highlighted
the coffee you never finished drinking
the movie you watch after midnight, wrapped in a blanket
the chocolate cake you ate that night with that girl
the slice of pizza you could've eaten but you gave to your best friend
the kiss that still burns on your lips
the cigarettes that sting in your lungs long after you smoked them
the dreams you dream
the worlds you build in your mind
the song that's stuck in your head
the moments you're in the shower
the iloveyous
the ikindaguessilikeyous
the icareforyous
the seeyoulaters
the words you say
the smiles you smile
the laughs you laugh
the loves you love
the hates you hate

you are
an entire universe:
you're stars
and planets
and galaxies
and asteroids
and comets

you are a cosmos
trapped in
a shell.

you are
a gazillion worlds
locked in
a human cage.

never think
of yourself
as of
anything
less.

i'm a biologist
but i have no idea why
you hurt so much
you're just a muscle
just a pump
just tissue
connected with veins
and arteries
you're just
a bunch of cells
forced to hold on
together
by the laws of nature

you're so useless
just stop hurting already
i can't find a scientific
explanation
and it drives me
round the bend

so

just

stop

hurting

already.

give me wings.
set me free.
i want to travel
to every edge of the world.
i want to sleep
on park benches.
i want to eat foreign
cuisine
and drink cheap
coffee, half asleep,
in a booth in a
cheap restaurant by
the road.
i want to walk barefoot
through fields of daisies;
i want to bury my toes
in the sand and feel the
wind in my hair
on a beach in October.
i want to breathe the
salty air in
and write poetry on
the cliffs.
i want to recite
cummings under the stars
while drinking cheap whisky
i want to run free
through fields of grass,
those green oceans of
morning dew.
i want to drive on
the highway at full
speed
and ***** the
speed limit.
i want to sing off-key
at the top of my lungs,
i want to hide in the
woods and make my
own recipes,
i want to cook
my own life
not by the rule book.
i want to be whom i've
always wanted to be.
don't tell me how
to live my life;
let me drink hot
chocolate,
sitting on a beach
at 4 a.m. in a
party dress;
let me drink
tequila in baby blue
cotton pyjamas,
let me waltz
to heavy metal,
let me breathe.
for ****'s sake
break my shackles.

you're my vanilla
you're my caffeine
you're my sweet fragrance
you're all i need

you taste like chocolate
you feel like silk
you're like cashmere
pressed to my skin

you're cream and sugar
you're pepper and salt
you are my sweetness
you are my boat

you are my books
and you are the films
i watch at midnight
you're under my skin
you are my light
and you're all i need

i wanna take the pain of yesterday
and all the pain of your tomorrow
i wanna make your fears go away
i wanna steal away your sorrow

i wanna wipe your tears away
and heal your scars forever
i wanna hold you day by day
and be with you whenever

you need my helping hand
to wrap myself around you
and never let the idyll end

no matter how hard
i try to forget
i try to move on
i try to live on
i guess you’ll remain
in my heart you will stay
forever right there
to hurt me.

you’re wrenching my heart
you sting in my veins
you’re the bags under my eyes
the dry tears on my face
the undrawn lines on my skin
the ache from within.

and i guess from now on
when i’m lonely
alone
i guess from now on
now once you’re gone
my pain has a name

if somebody asks
my pain has a name.
my pain is a “he”.