Teacup

Exquisitely designed
Herringbone China
Crushed bones designed and fashioned
Into the delicate vessel you hold within the palms of your hands
Warming your fingers on cold winters days,
Relieving the chill of winters breathe.

Hold me close now
For if I drop and fall from your clasp
I will break into a thousand small shards
Splintering against the pavement
Fragmented beyond design
Willow patten weaves its leaves about my handle and birds dance around my rim
Oh how I scream of summer on your lips as morning tea sipped on the dawn wakens your spirits to a new day.
Oh how you sip wine from me when you think no one is watching
An act of rebellion or maybe I am the last clean vessel within the draw .
The set to which I belonged has long since past into oblivion ,
my sister saucers and brother cups no more stand with me
and so I stand alone ,
a victim of circumstance and a hopeful survivor all entwined  within.
I wonder if life had been different
would I of still had your beautiful lips grace my rim .
Oh how I love the curve in your smile and your idle chatter .
My life has been complete because I have loved being and belonging to you .
A simple but exquisitely fashioned tea cup you chose for your own

So tell me

Do you really hate me

as much as you love me

or

was that just the way you play

Is it the way you hurt

and

the way you scream

When your angry

do you think of me

tell me

do you really love me this much

Or is it just a game we play

so we can remember

not to feel

Tenderness flawed by the endless need
to hold on to your own sanity
I turned to look for you
But saw nothing
A desert stretched out before me
It felt as though death had
buried you before my return
No face
Where faces loomed
No presence to fill the gloom
Tenderness within the silk of the hour
was surely mine to bestow

I like writting dark blood curdling poems
Thing is
Big problem
I'm just a little too happy right now

I  think it is strange when people change

in ways you are unable to explain

Was there always a ticking in their head

wanting to excape all the hum drum they've created

When your positivity runs low
But your the person
Everyone else runs too
So no one ever expects you to break

That .....

When tears don’t stop falling
And  you’ve told yourself your not sure you can go on doing what is expected of you
But you feel as though your failing and so can’t give in

That ......

When you just need to talk it out
But they say if you have a problem
Do something about it
Go see a doctor
But your so scared of giving in
Don’t they realise how hard it was to speak out in the first place

That.....

When life feels so raw
you just want to hide Somwhere quiet
When your bones are broken
But so is your mind
When the pain just doesn’t stop
And your work load is crushing

That ......

This is the least bit positive I’ve ever felt
In my life
This is raw
This is hell
This is nasty

The only positive ......
Everything is temporary .....
And so too shall this pass .....

This ............

Spiralling out of control in a downhill motion
Longing for anxiety to cease
This usual peaceful heart is beating irregularly
Unable to hold on to the slippery edge of reality in which one finds oneself
All she wants is for someone to really understand the stirrings of her soul
But alas no one comes close
A lover who never puts himself on the line
Everything set in stone because he does not like the human race that much at all
But she needs to feel needed
I guess that's what he lacks
He thinks she is an independent lady
Happy in her own skin
able to do without his arms to hold her as she leaves the last breath of the day behind her
He is not the one
That scares her because she wanted so much this time for this to be real
Hold fire for she is creating this
She knows better
But the yearnings inside are screaming
SCREAMING
and its tearing her apart

There is
Beauty in this world
look close and you will see it
listen silently and you may hear it
Use your hands to touch
Open your heart so you might find it
This is my message
Believe and you can create all that you wish to have in your life
Let not past regrets close your heart
Let not the ugly of the world make you close your eyes to beauty
May you not close your ears to the songbirds sweet melody
May you use your hands to hold the ones you love
Find the strength to stand tall
And your world will become beautiful and meaningful
This is my message to you all

My mind tonight is blank

Swimming against the tide of life

Or was it the pool of circumstance

I'm really not sure anymore

But i think i enjoyed

Dipping my toes

When the sea came to meet the shore

Exquisite is the moment before remembering who I really am
All my naked emotions are running riot
And yet
Here I am at the dawn of a new day

New vices and old habits have become routine
the rain just keeps pouring.
Leaving its traces down the window washed clean is this charred view from within.

Tracing the raindrops as they free fall
Spiralling out of my control down a crystal walkway that leads no-where.
Emotions like daggers are drowned into a numbness that I manage to grasp
but not let go of.
Where to next my friend who am I in this moment?

Nothing can compare to the storm within the mind.
To many faces etched in stone and the dreams only exist in a nightmares sense.
Today won’t haunt tomorrow as the past thrives within the pain.

Waves break just before the shore.
And that that was
simply reminds us of what shall never be.

It’s hard I cannot lie to you
The bottom of the bottle is looming
Just like the end of some romantic novel
We crashed and burnt
When in hell will this grieving turn to anger
At least in anger I will find once more my lost spirit
My salvation

Summers sun  now surrenders to the feast of autumn
Soon we  will be bathed in a golden blanket encompassing all the delicate moments just before the midnight frost of winter hits us hard
Oh for such a love that journeys inwards and beyond into the inner world
May we slumber sweetly in dreams  held tight in a love that holds promises of tomorrow
For a while forgotten are the pains of loves lost and broken hearts that slide away from our view, it’s not important now , maybe it never was…
Only surviving at all costs is necessary so that we are able to return once more.
Surely spring will come forth after we have rested.
I think It’s time
Time to open our eyes
The earth is beautiful
and humans …
well humans usually are not
but love is beautiful and some how from the embers of our winters hearths we will rise once more .
Until then
Let’s slumber softly
Hold me like the earth holds the bulb
Hold me
I surrender
I surrender there’s no where else to go from here.

Simply delicious
Blood tasting like honey
Thirsty for a recollection
Time flies don't you think?

I don't crave the truth
The one I shall find
Beneath your velvet brown eyes
Bidding on life itself
Time flies  when in the company of strangers

Turn away before you find what I had hidden
Only my truth is illuminated within
Without my heart
I am nothing
Time flies when your soul is yearning

Truth
You wouldn't know it if you saw it
If you could feel truth how would it feel?
Hold your pillow against your cheek
I hunger
And yet
Time still flies

Feathers cascade downwards
Forming a soft pile
Of unspoken moments
Touch me with the truth
That however fast time flies
There will always be a time for us

Forgetfulness makes me weak
Illusion makes me dream
Time
Well time will tell
If this circle of events will ever come full circle
Leaving me spinning,spiralling downwards

The mystery of the human psyche
A million thoughts tumbling
Within the tombola of life
A hand reaches in and saves you from the impending doom that
You’ve ran into
blindfolded like a mouse running from the butchers wife into the hands of a Tom cat
Hold onto your tail
The narrative will change as quickly as the handle is turned
And the tombola will shake you from your imaginary sense of doom
If you pull a zero or a five it means you’ve made it out alive.

I think your hands and my shoulders would make a perfect connection
I'd be the sleeping partner in this obviously
But the payback will be paid in due course
I'd also like to wrap my toes around your fingers
But that's another story

Tracing my fingertips
Slowly across the keyboard
Trying to awaken the dreams in words that I used to ache for
Slowly realising that it all lies beneath the skin waiting to surface

Turning on the green light inside my head
Maybe I still am able to light the horizon with feelings

That lay at the base of my soul
It is comforting to know I never really left home after all.

Tracing your outline
With my fingertip
Becomes harder
When memories lapse and
I no longer remember your face
Then it really is goodbye for the last time
The dust that sits upon my finger tip
Knows where Im headed
And why I could no longer suffer
for your peace of mind

Do not slay your dragons on my doorstep then make love to them just above the gaze of heavens gates.
Do not surrender your fears and then shackle them to yourself as if your life depended upon it.
I am no fool to any man.
I laid down my heart
You cut me with your sword and my shield will protect me from your hastening attentions.
Maybe I am not broken enough to see through your gaze.
But the silence that hangs on the breeze speaks truths.
And it is only truths my ears will dwell upon.
Sweet words mean nothing if in secret you cast them to the dirt below your feet .
The darkness just merged my mind and heart together spitting violent words into a fierce furnace of powerful rage.
Love those you love.
Standing tall in your need for reflection for reflection has purpose.
Speak kindly in secret as in company it is there that you will gain the greatest rewards.

All I want is for someone
Anyone to understand
The sturrings of my soul
They seem fine when the sun is shining from my  eyes
But when my darkness returns
Nothing but silence and escape

Flicking through pages of a long forgotten memory
And there you are
Waiting
Waiting to be remembered
Brought back to life
If only for a moment
Those days of summer
Linger upon a dreamscape so real
Almost touchable
Fragrances of heaven linger for a while
Even when I can no longer see your face
Your soul sings me sweet lullaby’s
Such a love
Such a love
Is life …..

The pain is so real that even a frayed heart couldn’t break this *******
Clasped tight
My chest squeezes out the remaining air that settles beneath
A somewhat elusive reminder that there’s nothing more left to say
No room to breath again
No space to stretch my wings
And yet in silent moments my yearning
Can be heard
Rumbling to the surface like a volcanic eruption
Angry and docile
Waiting and ready
Unexpected and yet
In these moments I feel closer to you than I ever did
To look past the mirrored reflection
Erected to protect me
Not from you but from my expectations of me being with you
Though it wasn’t hard to see we could never climb the same mountain and still be on the same page
We weren’t sculptured from the same beginnings so understanding was seldom real
Empathy is only sweet when real
Sympathy only lives a short life for those who are tarnished with regret and heart strings no longer are strummed by the gentle hand of the lover who has lost their love
In moments like this I dive into the dark ocean that is my soul
It’s quiet and soothing
If not a little lonely at times
And yet
When I curl into self
I almost feel non existent
The smoothing lull of nothingness

Place the tip of your finger
Upon my lip
Kiss all that I am
I will breathe in our tomorrows
For I see you waiting
Quietly
Never making a movement unneeded
Responding only when asked
Kiss her brow
And say I'm truely sorry
But you can not be hers
When still your lips hunger
For the passion which is ours only
Holding on
Is hurting
Doing what is expected
Making do with moments of Bliss
When what you need is moments
Of this love we shared
So sort out
What you need to once more be free to choose
Messages are all around me
I feel you
Closer
I wait
I am ready
When the moon is high
Beckoned by the sun  to stay
In the sky just a little longer than it should
The magpie message
Will be recieved gratefully

Shadows bless the night
As we huddle tighter
Sharing a sacred journey
Adversity piles upon us at times
But our human nature screams
Survival at all costs
If I reached out my hand
Would you accept
If I humbled myself at your feet
Would you stay
Or would you run
Afraid and confused of your own reflection
Cotton candy
As sweet as spice
Exquisitely the spider weaves her
Majestic web
As we weave our stories with the threads of time illuminated in the heavens for those who have gone before us
Be it a simple question of time
Of misunderstandings
Or lost promises
We will return
In circles we spiral upwards
Holding onto the very thread that bore our bodies from dust and turned them into the stars I see within your eyes
You are my muse
You are all and everything
Without means words don’t flow
Feelings stay intombed
And my body will return to dust before it betrays you

What if I only get to see twenty more summers and 20 more winters and the spring time feels fresher and my brow though a little weary  
Feels lighter somehow ?
What if heavens kiss comes sooner ?
Time to appreciate all the beauty
Fight against the grit and dirt
Those smiling faces I have held within hands that felt sadness when they lost their grip on reality.
What ifs bring new reasonings
What if I am immortal
What if….

When the numbness subsides
What then?

When the breath
Feels stale in my lungs
And my heart is heavy
Will you …

Today my head is tierd
My body is aching
But my heart is happy
And my soul at peace

If it will be the same
This time tomorrow
Depends on wether I can bounce
Other people's arrogance
And egos
Away from my skin
Words burn
Feelings echo
Long after
A situation has past

I came upon an old stone wishing well
Way out beyond my dream time
Just past the hour that never quite Strikes
So I flipped my coin and tossed it so
Rainbow hues and no where else to go
I wished for love to hold me close
Closer still than I ever did know
I wished for arms to Wrap me tight
All through the winter nights
I wished for freedom
I wished for joy
My wish it splashed upon the fountains floor
And then I wished a little more
I wished for hope
I wished for faith
For without these two
I'd fall from grace
With out trust there is no love
No devine intervention from above

The ever optimistic fool sits with sapphire teals rolling frantically from eyes which see too much
The heart that has been torn, tread upon and dragged in the dust can not bare the burden
So it rips apart,spilling it's ragged contents Into the gutter
There is nowhere left to run and your not really sure there's a need to leave
But a return back from this pessimism would be a delightful notion
As thoughts twist and turn
Like a never ending last spin on your noisy washer
Faster, more fragmented, frantic and free
The land has been freshly ploughed
The arguments are over
You have used your voice so as not to be seen as invisible
You may have spilled it all and god knows where we go from here
But it's certain that we will take not a step backwards in our endevour to be heard
Scratch an itch and it will get bigger
Keep picking at my scars and I will not be able to give you my free thinking happy mask that I manage to wear so well
So well indeed that I truly forgot this part of me ever existed
To stand upon the highest hill in the middle of a storm that could match my own
To meet my match in natures force
This alone will help me sleep
The dreams are so haunting
And I'm drowning in the neglectful thoughtlessness of  clowns

My words don’t always come out graceful and tamed
That’s when I usually get myself into trouble
Maybe a little rebellion is needed
Just now and again

Meet me in secret
Between your words, the page , the ink
And the pain in my heart
Meet me here
Amongst the sweat and the darkened moments of regret
Hold me firm against your chest
And surrender to the beauty you read and from your sweet lips flow stories of hero’s and lovers ,flowers and brothers snd  the need
Oh that need …
The one that rises and falls and free falls amongst the crashing waves of desire
Meet me there
If you can find a moment lead your pen or keyboard in my direction
Come tip  toe through my life as I weave my magic around your words creating pure bliss in the form of poetry that knits us as one to the page.

Go figure
The writing on the wall is so clear
But still you fail to hear the warnings
That swirl around that confused mind of yours

Newspaper print simple
You left your mind behind whilst
Contemplating your next agenda

Should of been easy to understand
It was there right in front of you
Open your eyes ******

Blood stains
The imaginary beasts that roll behind those glass eyes
Satin no longer stained with marks of love
Skin torn from your back has healed

The bruise inside your heart it festers still
Admit to yourself
Then release and forgive

You beg
Please don't let this be real
The shapes and hues are too bright and sharp to understand
Crumble to the ground
But at least you cant fall further

Further is where demons hide
Ready and waiting
A place of no return

Look closer at the writing on the wall
look in the mirror its written in biro across your forehead
Newspaper print in black and white
Says don't be afraid of the night
Its yourself you need to be afraid of

Knowing that soon
We will be one
Within the breath
Which we call life
A connection tied
A moment promised
Summer will see our love
The scent
Upon your skin
Reminds me
Oh how I longed to be
Once more held captive lookking into
The mirror
Looking into self
You see
The dust has gone
The fire of damnation has subsided
Into a nothigness
So complete
I trust in all that love is
I move around you
Encircling
Moving forward within
And to you
Treasures are glittering
In moments yet to be lived

I just miss talking  to you
That’s the bottom line of it
I miss you
Is all