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Aug 20 · 175
Restless
Rai Aug 20
I wish the darkness would smother me in sleep for this restless night has taken me prisoner for it’s own.
Rai Aug 12
She had built a wall so well around the fortress of her heart
But there were cracks forming

In her iron armour
There was rust forming at sharp edges

There was a feeling that
Maybe a connection
Wouldn’t be so bad after all

To live and not live
Surely that is a crime
To breath but not let love close
A mortal sin maybe

But she couldn’t see the faces on the souls that beckoned
She knew no one in which she would desire to connect

So what then?

When your young you fall into the arms of strangers without a thought

Wisdom brings many things

Solitude and often silence can
Sooth and yet taunt in unison.
Aug 1 · 176
Moment
Rai Aug 1
A memory like a flash back
Like prisms dancing on pavements
Like clouds floating freely
Like that moment when you felt lost and this was the only place to come to rid yourself of the lonesomeness you felt within you
A feeling of belonging
But also of shattering glass and sand flowing through your fingers
Time is often not your friend
The words said on the wrong moment
The feelings you never understood
And I thank life that I have moved past the emptiness and have learnt to be happy in this existence.
I thank life for the moments when memories come knocking
Reminding you that you are enough
You are
And so that is enough for now.
May 28 · 183
Butterfly thoughts
Rai May 28
To land briefly upon the moment we call forever
To hover timelessly
Waiting in anticipation for more and yet knowing it is not to come
To sleep with shadows hovering
This much and more we will injure before we are able to escape our own sweet madness.
To land briefly is what we humans do upon this earth
Make your mark and leave it a better world for having been apart of its journey through space and time .
Jan 17 · 56
Fly low fly home
Rai Jan 17
She stepped beyond herself
Exhausted by childhood and the need to conform to the will of others,
How ever loving they may be
Her clipped wings were free to fly in the majesty of life’s roller coaster ride.
Little did she know that wild spirits lurked in the forests glades
Waiting to devour such a sweet innocent girl child soul.
No lesson learnt at desks or at her mother breast had equipped her for this fall.
But to her mother’s arms she fell.
Backwards falling
Tumbling
Needing the womb like safety that only a child in arms knows.
Mother without judgement holds her love in palms journey
Not letting go until tears subside
And reminds young heart
That hearts were not only made for loving,
But also for healing
And so it goes.
When the worlds love  hurts our children, the pain you feel. But the making of a warrior can not not happen by just your hands alone .
Rai Dec 2020
Put your hand in my hand
Are you ready?
Let’s go ...
Dec 2020 · 44
Pavements
Rai Dec 2020
The pavements reflect the colours of your soul my friend.
Rainbow hues lay in puddles of yesterday’s oil spill .
There is no where to roam on such a dark heartless night .
And I’m held motionless within this moment
No one will save me.
I breathe and realise,
I no longer need saving.
This enlightened magical world in which I find myself lends no love to strangers on dark corners .
It holds no memory of the man who stood before the mirror .
Counting the lines within the crevices that line his mature but ageless face.
A handsome man to some .
An ego driven fool to others.
To me he is but a reflection of what might of been .
A memory, a moment of madness in this cold fragile world.
And so I step upon the hue of a fallen rainbow and look for a new story to tell.
One which you no longer have the leading role.
Nov 2020 · 283
Face it
Rai Nov 2020
It’s a sad truth but
Just
Sometimes
Facebook is all I have
It’s just how it feels in isolation - I’m lucky I’m still working there must be so many feeling disconnected right now x
Nov 2020 · 198
Myself
Rai Nov 2020
Searching the crevices of my soul.
Midnight rondevou’s  help me see
the  multifaceted nature of my existence
A moment of realigning my energies
Falling into strange moonlite dreamscapes that make no sense and yet
I find my mind free and open
Embracing my darkness
I hold on tight for this  ride
Never before has it been so important
To just let go
Let go and claw my way forward along
the bramble led path before me.
This is my path
My existence
My life
And I will live it the way my destiny calls me to
And then and only then will I understand the weaving of my soul.
Nov 2020 · 59
You
Rai Nov 2020
You
I just miss talking  to you
That’s the bottom line of it
I miss you
Is all
Oct 2020 · 63
Dark
Rai Oct 2020
The dark is comforting as it curls around my body.
Shadows linger longer than usual and trying to sleep is given up for writing on walls of this obscure place where no one is seen but many are hiding within sentences.
Giving all their heartbreak and misunderstandings to strangers
Making connections
Like the lost and found
I found something here
But also lost more than I bought
Like fine sand slipping through spindly fingers.
The world looks different since I visited last
So I just want to send love to those who are struggling with demons closed tight in the boxes called home.
If clawing at walls brings no satisfaction
Remember connection
Reach out to the shadows
The corners
The moments
Reach out to your  madness
Make the darkness your friend
Oct 2020 · 51
2.51 am
Rai Oct 2020
I’d like to reach out to you
But it’s not allowed
The universe had other things planned
Twirled around in circles
of writing poetry and sending my head in a spin
Has now been swopped for
A peaceful garden ,quiet life and homemade jam
Sounds slightly boring
But there’s a hell of a lot of peace of mind in my world nowadays .
I miss spending dark late nights with you
Laughing ,crying ,just learning to breath
But there’s more
More of something always comes along
Jun 2020 · 75
Souls cry for freedom
Rai Jun 2020
My soul no longer weeps,
Therefore poetry is rarely created.
Though when asked for an answer to some simple question,
People remark
Oh how poetic your words.
A wordsmith you must be.
And so I guess poetry is ingrained into my very being.
And it’s weeping will flow through my life
Like a river running to quench the thirst of a hungered man.
My existence therefore
Will be to bring words to life.
To bring sunshine to the grey pavements which are the minds of those who have fallen asleep, and no longer see rainbows in the petrol stains left by leaking cars.
And who no longer want to feel the weight of the world.
Poetry will always be my purpose.
My soul
My soul is full and overflowing.
May 2020 · 76
Fate
Rai May 2020
Nature pounds her chest
Full pelt
Angry
Frustrated
Vengeful

Beware mighty warriors
We were once not of this earth
And so the earth will rid herself
Of the parasitic infestation that we have become

Such a shame as she rocks us to sleep each night
Our mother screams
She weeps for our redemption
And yet it falls mainly on deaf ears
She still holds us
Scorned children with so much to learn

Her blood will run to stock our fires
And the air will become putrid to her lungs
Trees will bend and forests break
Like  her heart
You can hear it scattering upon the breeze
If you so bother to quieten your mind for a moment to just listen

I SAID LISTEN

I hold her in my heart
As it beats
I feel her as she bleeds
I bleed with her
She is my mother
My Gaia
As the universe is my creator
So too shall he take me from this place

For we do not deserve her

Some will leave in battle
Others in pain
I shall leave her
With sadness
And yet in joy
For now she may have a new beginning

But I would pray
that we could heal her
Hold her
As she has held us
Shield her from harm
As she has
Fed us and watered us
Feed the soul of her
May we rise
Like the sun of a new day
A tribe of warriors
Searching for a new way
A new life
With the safety of Mother at its core
May we rise
May we also have a new beginning
May we rise together
Like the sun
On a new morning

Maybe
Apr 2020 · 79
Cascade and fall
Rai Apr 2020
Silence trickles gently
down hillsides and cheekbones
In a hue of emotions
Cascading in torrents
How blind are those
That only skim the surface
Never delving into depths
Letting go
Sinking sweetly into oblivion
But trusting in the divine
To hold them above it all
Mar 2020 · 259
A reason
Rai Mar 2020
I write so that I may escape
But from this
From this there is no where to run
Mar 2020 · 71
Distancing
Rai Mar 2020
When social distancing becomes the norm
Will you still hold me in your arms
And soothe me with your breath upon my skin
Or will you retreat
A forgetful moment of reconditioning
Mar 2020 · 100
Darkness
Rai Mar 2020
It’s going to be a long dark night
Feb 2020 · 127
Just a moment
Rai Feb 2020
I miss you
I miss us
I miss myself
The me that is me when I’m with you
I miss those moments
And the moments between moments
Shared moments
Quiet moments
Even the loud angry moments
Because they were still moments with you
I just miss
The moments
Jan 2020 · 78
Naked
Rai Jan 2020
And so came the time
She had feared the most
Quite rooms
Empty spaces
Change comes and goes with ease
But bites at the loneliness
And the void becomes so vast
All your nightmares
All your insecurities come rushing
And fall from your face
Cascading in the most beautiful of hues
Upon cheekbones so exquisitely defined by life itself
Children’s heartbeats which kept you away from this place
Hidden from mind
Now monsters of love , regret and the past come hungrily feasting upon your vulnerability
And all you can do
Is allow it
Let it flow
And prey that you will win the battle laid bare before you
Nov 2019 · 127
Friends gone
Rai Nov 2019
I don’t know this place anymore
The faces aren’t  here
The souls don’t linger just a moment
Conversations are void from the blank frameless canvas on my screen

JP caught the last train out
I was told he waved a silent goodbye
To the nobodies standing on the station

Eileen and Chris with their beautiful words
Fell apart and drifted away from us all
The winds of change taking them to the most remote places.
Eileen is dancing with the pixies and making wishes on stars
Chris not so

Gabrielle beautiful girl
Head so strong and wiser than her years
Has her head in a book or a family to raise or a degree in wisdom for all of her days

Paddy
Now paddy can be found down by the stream
Anyone who knew him
Will know what I mean
The fishes are high and the summer is long
But from this place your spirit has gone

Bathsheda
She ran
(And I mean ran real fast)
To the hills
where she runs free
Screaming obscenities
At anyone who might pass
A doff of the hat
A piece of that cake
A moment of connection
Make no mistake
A women of word
Who won’t take your fooling
But for that chocolate cake she would be drooling

Lily oh lily
Oh lily my love
I think you were sent from heaven above
You warm my heart still
But your not of this place
And it’s never here I glimpse your face

Gonzo
My friend
With a smile that hides the reality of a man
Your darkness I love
Your sorrow I weep
But away from here
The burden was too steep

Richard
Now what can I say
You just got up
Left the front door open with no poetic note to say good bye
We yearned
We missed
We adapted
Then we all left
The glue had gone

Helen
Let’s open a bottle and drown all our tears
Well we could
But your not even here
To old friends # midnight mumbling
Nov 2019 · 95
Bits of me
Rai Nov 2019
That numb place
Where your comfortably happy
Single equals freedom after all
Free from restraints put on you by another
Free from being judged not good enough
Free to be just who you want to be
But this god dam free place
Gets lonely at times
How do you shout that out to the world
How do you fill voids
The ones you used to fill with crumbs of affection
But affection it was
Even if
Unreal and un-lasting
And the wheel of fortune says bid your time
And your horoscope this month looks promising
But hell  girl your just run back to your safe place
The one where freedom abides and heartbreak has never mended
Your heart is scared from all the daggers that have been plunged within
This numb place is becoming less numb
The drug called freedom you realise can never be as intoxicating as that first look
That first kiss
Yet you look around
And there’s no one
No one you want to connect with on a deeper level
So you look deeper into self
You reflect
You tear yourself apart
Bit by bit by bit by bit
And then some more
Bit by bit by bit by bit
Aug 2019 · 106
Wise
Rai Aug 2019
Wise is the man who draws his gun fastest
Wiser still is the man that walks away slowly giving himself another day
Wisdom is born from the toil of hardship
From the knowing within your soul
You know that initiative retch in your gut that this is the truth
The right or the wrong of it
Wisdom comes when we stop and listen to our own truths
And stop blaming those that we feel are obstacles in our path
For they just may be the one sent in this life to hold us up when we fall
Or sometimes
We use them to reflect ourselves onto
It’s all in the journey my friend
So raise your face upwards
And taste the true essence of all that is you
Aug 2019 · 383
Midnight passing
Rai Aug 2019
It’s long past midnight
The wind howls around the feet of trees
that stand tall, but bend awkwardly
Into positions they were never fashioned  to reach
the rain starts slowly but increasingly patters like small footprints upon my window pane.
Smoothing and unnerving all rolled into one strange moment of sleeplessness
Insomnia beckons for company
I gave in what can I say I’ll sleep through breakfast now so no harm done
And anyhow I am my own master
So do as I please
And now I wandered here
If your listening I’ll never know
I don’t care for strange relationships across blank screens anymore
I don’t slow my breathing down to accommodate yours
I don’t talk for hours
Delving deep yet dusted with a surface shallowness I could never recognise before
Eyes open
Heart closed
That’s the way to survive I guess
May 2019 · 97
Broken moment
Rai May 2019
I was crawling out of a hole as deep and dark as the sentiment in your eyes
A meaningful moment of surrender beckoned
But I found myself
Crawling backwards it seems

Fingertips touching the glasses rim
and then my lips
Cherry blossom comes to mind

Remembrance comes and goes

Take the broken crayons
I don't care if they still colour the same
They are broken god dam you
Apr 2019 · 166
Hear me
Rai Apr 2019
If I scream loud enough inside my head will you hear me?
My mind screamed to my soul
My soul never answered
It was standing on the sidelines
Waiting to see if I realised there was no need to scream when we are one and the same
Living in the same body
Unable for now to excape
But one day
One day we will fly for sure
Apr 2019 · 146
Indifference
Rai Apr 2019
I never needed you
But I wanted to be needed
There’s a difference
Apr 2019 · 498
Past truths
Rai Apr 2019
When the price of togetherness becomes loneliness
Your path should be clear
Your heart is screaming for redemption
But you lower yourself below yourself
Scrambling
Clawing
But the end result will be the same
Best love yourself in solitude
Than hate your life in love
Dec 2018 · 125
Me
Rai Dec 2018
Me
It took a broken body to make me realise
I love myself unconditionally
I love all the broken corners
The dark edges where no body else is allowed to tread
I love the way it rebuilds itself
Bridging together fragments
And I love the way I am
Able to have the strength through the pain to heal
Nov 2018 · 226
Vol
Rai Nov 2018
Vol
The pain is so real that even a frayed heart couldn’t break this *******
Clasped tight
My chest squeezes out the remaining air that settles beneath
A somewhat elusive reminder that there’s nothing more left to say
No room to breath again
No space to stretch my wings
And yet in silent moments my yearning
Can be heard
Rumbling to the surface like a volcanic eruption
Angry and docile
Waiting and ready
Unexpected and yet
In these moments I feel closer to you than I ever did
To look past the mirrored reflection
Erected to protect me
Not from you but from my expectations of me being with you
Though it wasn’t hard to see we could never climb the same mountain and still be on the same page
We weren’t sculptured from the same beginnings so understanding was seldom real
Empathy is only sweet when real
Sympathy only lives a short life for those who are tarnished with regret and heart strings no longer are strummed by the gentle hand of the lover who has lost their love
In moments like this I dive into the dark ocean that is my soul
It’s quiet and soothing
If not a little lonely at times
And yet
When I curl into self
I almost feel non existent
The smoothing lull of nothingness
Nov 2018 · 108
Hope
Rai Nov 2018
Thank goodness every day isn’t the same as the last .......
like a warrior
You fight two steps forward and face towards the sun
You are your own hero
Where there is no other
Be the person
Who finds the silver lining
Even if it’s only a slither
Rai Nov 2018
When your positivity runs low
But your the person
Everyone else runs too
So no one ever expects you to break

That .....

When tears don’t stop falling
And  you’ve told yourself your not sure you can go on doing what is expected of you
But you feel as though your failing and so can’t give in

That ......

When you just need to talk it out
But they say if you have a problem
Do something about it
Go see a doctor
But your so scared of giving in
Don’t they realise how hard it was to speak out in the first place

That.....

When life feels so raw
you just want to hide Somwhere quiet
When your bones are broken
But so is your mind
When the pain just doesn’t stop
And your work load is crushing

That ......

This is the least bit positive I’ve ever felt
In my life
This is raw
This is hell
This is nasty

The only positive ......
Everything is temporary .....
And so too shall this pass .....

This ............
Feeling more sorry for myself than I can even explain .... that
Nov 2018 · 4.1k
Weave
Rai Nov 2018
Shadows bless the night
As we huddle tighter
Sharing a sacred journey
Adversity piles upon us at times
But our human nature screams
Survival at all costs
If I reached out my hand
Would you accept
If I humbled myself at your feet
Would you stay
Or would you run
Afraid and confused of your own reflection
Cotton candy
As sweet as spice
Exquisitely the spider weaves her
Majestic web
As we weave our stories with the threads of time illuminated in the heavens for those who have gone before us
Be it a simple question of time
Of misunderstandings
Or lost promises
We will return
In circles we spiral upwards
Holding onto the very thread that bore our bodies from dust and turned them into the stars I see within your eyes
You are my muse
You are all and everything
Without means words don’t flow
Feelings stay intombed
And my body will return to dust before it betrays you
Some poems are just woven into the fabric of who we are
Nov 2018 · 358
Let me sleep
Rai Nov 2018
This night betrays me
Slumber beckons and calls
But nethertheless
My eyes don’t fall to the tune of the night
Soon dawns chorus will hail a new day
And I will fall into a new tune
Wearily awakening to a new day
Nov 2018 · 843
Words
Rai Nov 2018
My words don’t always come out graceful and tamed
That’s when I usually get myself into trouble
Maybe a little rebellion is needed
Just now and again
Nov 2018 · 196
Soul seasons
Rai Nov 2018
Autumn leaves have laid their blanket
Upon the quiet ground
Winter beckons for sleep to come
Under the surface life is frozen in
Contemplation of a new cycle of life
As you surrender your past
Like the trees surrender last years growth
As you lay bare all your woes
As the leaves lye silently crisp waiting for someone to come and kick them high or crunch them beneath their feet
The workings of your soul are forgiving
The cold of winter holds you tight as
Your heart strings sleep and heal
For soon after the ideas in your mind eye and the stirrings in your heart
Like life waiting to spring through the ground in spring
So will you be reborn of yourself
Ever knowing
Ever remembering
Ever loving the earth you step on with silent steps
You are
I am
We are all
And we are everything that is beautiful
We are the cycle of nature imbodied within time and space
And once more in the full of summer
We shall shine
Oct 2018 · 218
Present Time
Rai Oct 2018
Loosing myself was a necessity
The journey back to self
That was a choice all of my own
Oct 2018 · 48
And then ...
Rai Oct 2018
She was in a hurry as she left home that day
Duvet lay crumpled on the floor where it fell as she rushed from her slumber
How could she have forgotten
This moment
The day she had waited for for so long never really believing it would happen
What a day for the alarm clock to give up the ghost
She knew she should of set the alarm on her phone
But hey
She walks down the street
A street that is embedded into her psychy
It’s been good here
The neighbours are more like family
She wondered if she would ever find a place like this again
The day was overcast but you could see a glimmer of light willing itself out from behind murky clouds
At the train station she was greeted by a rather stern face
She smiled anyway and went through the process of buying her ticket
Just at that moment she turned and caught a glimpse of him
She climbed the steps to the platform
He held out a hand
She would never go back this time
His eyes felt like home
His embrace felt like heaven
Oct 2018 · 123
Grasp on life
Rai Oct 2018
Mirrored within my fragile grasp is
a reflection of a time that stood still
Memories faded
Lines on brows
That can never be smoothed away
Worry and anxiety
Keep us safe but also keep us
hollow and fearful of life
If I could crack through the surface
Would I see what I thought I knew

The palm of your hand tells truths you are yet to discover
You can't fight it
This is your life
Your misunderstanding
Your mistake
Your chance to redeem your soul

Chances don't come often
Will I jump with a leap of faith
Knowing I could fall flat on my face
Soul low
Hands *****
Heart sore

Faith in myself
Says fly
Fly higher
Higher than you've ever flown before
Cracked mirrors projecting self will not stop me
Passed hurts  buried under the soil are long gone
There is no reason on earth or in hell
For me not to shine my light
Fear
Fear is just an excuse
An excuse I am no longer willing to go by
Maybe my grasp is not as fragile as I first believed

Fly high
Always shining your glorious light
Like a safe haven
A lighthouse
Upon the rocks of life
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
Blessed Survivor mode
Rai Oct 2018
Time whirls past at a significant speed
Atoms dancing within the miracle we call our lives
Lines on faces appear from all the laughter we share
Tears no longer etch our pain but release and surrender to something so pure you can almost mould it within your palms
To truly love all that is part of this world
The duality framed within understanding
Feeling blessed
Every soul that has breathed upon my moments and shared in my sunrises
I bless you and the unique moments you have brought  
Hold fast and I send love to all who live with sorrow in their hearts
Yesterday I lived many lives
I had many faces
And now I help the universe to mould the future
For what are we here for
If not to remember
If not to surrender
If not to release and burn down those barricades
That keep us so trapped to a moment that no longer bares credence on our time
Live full
Live so full
The tears I catch from the sky are tainted by your love  
Live so full that the survivor within you can no longer sit in shadows believing he is a fool
For you are a king , a queen
You are
As I am I
Don't burn your butterfly wings on the heat of the moment when you can be filling the world with the beauty that is you **
Jan 2018 · 76
Build
Rai Jan 2018
Like a child
I will build a den
With blankets thrown over tattered sofas
Corners stretched and pulled
Tucked in edges
Tables wanting to be castles
Carpets
Moats and dungeons
Beware
Entrance only open
To those who know the secret password
Friends etched in China cups
Bears replace the need for human touch
Dolls speaking in the oldest of tongues
Your brother tied to the nearest tree
Indians are coming it's time to flee
The blankets have fallen
The toys are all free
Jan 2018 · 275
Never go unprotected
Rai Jan 2018
When we feel safe so walk unprotected
When the spears of unnecessary anger  
and raised voices
hit you hard and grip you tight

A memory of a feeling
you vowed to your soul that you would hold up your hands
and protect its very essence
you feel you  failed and now you feel the anger, the tears and frustration  
which in reality no long belong here

A message from my soul ...

Mirror mirror on the  wall
deflect this anger from my door
uncuff your psychic chains from me
take back what my heart did feel
in reality this is not mine
but some others to chew up and grind
I free myself from the binds of others  
I spit them out
but not in anger
Jan 2018 · 356
Calm
Rai Jan 2018
When I'm alone I feel like a whole
Fragmented memories serve no one so
Lovers are soon forgotten
The calm takes over
And I can forget how broken
My heart really is
Cradled in your arms
I felt torn
Snuggled in your bed
I felt wretched
Love lies
Tares and crusifies
Who am I to walk around this world like a broken fool
Freedom
Peace of mind
Serenity
Love of self
Denial that there is any other way
Rai Aug 2017
Do not hold back the fire that bore your soul my child
Or the darkness which tore you apart
It is the making of the man
The remembering of the soul’s call

The smell of gasoline is heavenly to my senses
Pavements rainbows
In metallic hues of loneliness laid bare
This god dam awful place
Full of virgins and nuns
Thy neighbour is holier than thou
Get down on your knees son
It’s time to pray

Where will be your salvation
But in the cries of a mocking bird
Shot dead at dawn
To relive on the horizons crest
Cry not
for sorrow has a new bed fellow
Anger leads me into temptation
My tears are my only release
Bring me back now
Please let me be forgiven

As in truth I am the same
The same as you and her and him
We are all interconnected

My sorrow is found in your lies
As your smile is found on my lips
Your guilt is nowhere to be seen
Because I have hidden it well
Between the seams of my soul
Rai Aug 2017
Exquisite is the moment before remembering who I really am
All my naked emotions are running riot
And yet
Here I am at the dawn of a new day

New vices and old habits have become routine
the rain just keeps pouring.
Leaving its traces down the window washed clean is this charred view from within.

Tracing the raindrops as they free fall
Spiralling out of my control down a crystal walkway that leads no-where.
Emotions like daggers are drowned into a numbness that I manage to grasp
but not let go of.
Where to next my friend who am I in this moment?

Nothing can compare to the storm within the mind.
To many faces etched in stone and the dreams only exist in a nightmares sense.
Today won’t haunt tomorrow as the past thrives within the pain.

Waves break just before the shore.
And that that was
simply reminds us of what shall never be.

It’s hard I cannot lie to you
The bottom of the bottle is looming
Just like the end of some romantic novel
We crashed and burnt
When in hell will this grieving turn to anger
At least in anger I will find once more my lost spirit
My salvation
Another team effort between myself and the amazing John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo everyone's friendly bar tender
It has been a pleasure my friend and remember the road may be bumpy but with true friends on board your make your way out of the gloom in the end
If it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't be writing right now so Cheers
Rai Aug 2017
Does the time make us fools or simply were we always so to begin with .
Sketches faded now remain a ghost that haunts only the artist and nobody else.
The clock strikes midnight, but time stands still in this illusion of borrowed hours
Will there be a moments peace within the turmoil which ever lingers upon this day
The hours are toxic to a idle mind.
Falling in a routine and a favorite vice the blade still glimmers even after all its use.
We always find misery easily where others just themselves

Voices speak to me of freedom
But freedom is not something I desire
I beg and plead with you
But hell
what do you care
I'm lost
But don't treat me like a fool
A fools freedom in your smile
Is not freedom at all

As I walk now past empty gardens that once knew life of summers embrace .

Winters chill is a empty ended promise .
Now simply scorched is the earth that does remain.

The clock upon the wall simply keeps time we only hold memories and nothing more

Life has been a listless game of joys and sorrows  
I've spent my joys too quickly and they nowadays spread themselves thin upon the stage which is my life
Sorrowful me that lingers on the edge of reason
May reason be the saving of my sanity and not its end
Well I did it my first co-write with one of my favourite poets and friends.
Thank you John, friends always ~Rai
Jun 2017 · 621
Now
Rai Jun 2017
Now
The world is different now
Is it wrong to wish for rose tinted glasses
And a quiet corner of some obscure English garden
In which to sit cross legged and meditate
Whilst bombs reign down
And faiths scream their alliance to God
God holds his head in shame for his children who have been scattered in the wind
Evil lies in the hearts of the broken
Who then in turn spread their anger out wards
Causing chaos and confusion
Love thy neighbour
Hate the sin and not the sinner
These rules you must admit become harder by the day
We have become to humanised
We have become to disconnected
And my spirit cries
For the peace of an English meadow
In which to lie my head
Jun 2017 · 413
Connections lost and found
Rai Jun 2017
It changed
The day you left
I know it was a gradual submission
But it felt so final
We searched under every pebble
Looked within ourselves
Delved into our scar torn hearts
For a reason why you would of left
Not here
Not this place
But us
ALl OF US
Because it wasn't just me
That you shared your worries with
It wasn't just me
That you took into your trust zone
We all became a circle
Inter linked
One and all
Until it crumbled
We still have so much love here
Across ponds and oceans
Desserts and highways
Interconnected
We would still welcome you back with open hearts and open minds
After all
Your tribe is your tribe
Whatever reason they ran
If only to hide from themselves
From thier truths
Or maybe in search of something to fill the void
I love the way that after so long we still remember
And in rememberence it shall be
You turnt our lives upside down
Sticking us together
One strand of friendship
One doff of the hat
One large slice of chocolate cake
And a friendly smile and conversation
At the end of the day
When you aimlessly wander the archives and start remembering how it used to be ..... Brings a tear to your eye and an ache to your heart ... X
May 2017 · 547
Sleepless moment
Rai May 2017
It's much too late and I should be sleeping
The restlessness of lost souls
Can be heard above the din
Of silence
Where will I find my solice
No arms folded around my weary bones
I give in
Love bewilders me
So I shall beckon for its caress no more
May 2017 · 6.2k
Falling into Oblivion
Rai May 2017
Did you lay me down on a bed of nails and expect me to surrender my all ?
I felt the waves wash over and they engulfed all that was good
Dragging me down lower than I have ever fallen freely
I wanted a lover
But you entwined your darkness into my light
No one heard the screams
The midnight hour so haunting
A chill lay in place of your heart
You looked straight through me just before you leapt
Head first into oblivion
I just stood motionless for what seemed like a million years
Then I turntable and left
The memory is hollow
But it is memory all the same

I beckon you here
But not so that I can surrender to your will
But so that I can show you the truth in all things good
You may shy away
Hide in those self created shadows of misery
But I will  lay waiting
Just past midnight
The chill and silence deafen my soul
My love I beg
I beg
I'm falling
I'm sitting within your oblivion
Surrounded by creatures not of this world
Demons reign and I fear the fall
I turn
I always turn
You may leap into the hollowness of oblivion
But I fear it's clutches
I fear the hand of love
So turn tail and return
To the moment before midnight
The moment just before
The memory lingers
And the strike of twelve is never heard
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