Once, I might’ve burnt down my own throne,
disgusted by the weeds that climbed around it;
I might’ve kissed my crown lovingly,
might’ve painted it with blood
before burying it with the rest of my thorns.

A kingdom needs its queen.
This queen needs herself back.

I dust off my cloak.
Where do souls go to rest?
Where do you return the body you borrowed?

The doors slide open-
away I go.

I breathe in the light
and I’m already choking;

this is no place
for the girls
that have ripped their own chest open;

do not save me now
I am to dwell with the unspoken.

eat me alive

in the darkest
coldest
part of the night

the moon
will not
haunt you

nor follow
your footsteps
in the midst
of our
love's demise

i can smell
your flesh
from afar

eat me alive

i'd rather
be dead
than being
alone

into the deep blackness,
we descend with closed eyes.
Yet we dance in delight
as vast worlds tease us in a haze..
snapshots roll through our eyes
as we blast through
deep caverns of the mind.
we watch on,
as our subconscious perform its play.

The power is cut and the house is dark,
it is not yet night, the world bathed in saturated blue,
washed in layers of filter.
We're lost in our own worlds,
my brother and I,
and our silence is understanding
and companionship
and muted friendship.
My mother is in the kitchen,
silhouetted against the candle's orange light,
and she is soft edges
and stitches
and a woman who bore two.
The three of us,
strangers, family,
unknown, discovered,
hidden in the darkness, revealed in the shadows.
I want to say, *this matters.
This moment matters.
You will forget
but I will always remember.

My eyes are heavier than a thousand oceans,
my breath settles      
                        one          
                                                two.
I'm drifting off to the peaceful abyss,
galaxies dancing under my eyelids.
Ping.
"You up?"
Why, yes.
I am.

Your voice is my alarm clock
Your scent like salts to bring me back
To another day of conflict,
As I brace for your attack.

The guns are blazing in this fight
It's high noon in this Wild West
But before I have time to load,
You've fired two into my chest.

Trust was lost with innocence,
But you still will play this game.
Only, you can turn it off,
I wish I could do the same.

I finally find a moment of peace,
But you decide that you want more.
I emptied the bench hours ago,
While you just run up the score.

And after all the struggle,
I collapse and close my eyes
On pillows of broken promises,
Blankets quilted out of lies.

I've made this bed I rest in,
Toss and turn throughout the night,
A greater foe, this time myself
As I relive every fight.

I sat watching 3 girls,
couldn’t be any older than 12,
wearing shorts cut by
expectations and
            taking pictures
with coffee cups and
wearing make up
stronger          than
perfume clouds
following like
hitchhikers
and
a slow car.
**** magazines          and enraptured
by the           irrelevant famous,
exposing the youth’s lack
of interest in literature,
callow   and murderous,
glasses filled and cocksure,
the world in front of them
and yet they’re taking
steps backwards

MJB