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It makes me a bit sad that nobody, even I, will ever know what I meant.
It's floating around in the universe now.
Free from human reach to tamper and analyse its purpose.
It's gone, it's never coming back.
I forgot what I meant
For the girl who doesn't know how to say no:

I have been a version of you too many times
I have worn your body on frequent occasions
Always physically neutral, stock-still
Denying purpose into static
Eyes open
And breathing
I know exactly how it is
To not know how to refuse
Or resist when rough palms press on your skin
I know how it is
To feel there is no other option
But to lie still while eager hands pull at your body
Uninvited lips stepping into your mouth
How quickly a tongue becomes a weapon
I know it all too well
It is iron-clenched fists
It is unforgiving friction
And disintegration becomes second nature
For a girl whose limbs
Are already paper-made
Stares burned into too many white walls
A woman watching her own shadow
And the word no never escapes the vocal chords
Because there is never a question to answer to
It is assumed
That our shared pulse is enough yes
And consent is an easy thing to ignore
When it is hardly ever asked for
Men are taught to halt
Only if it is preceded by screeching
I wonder how many silent cries
Are covered by darkness and heavy breathing

This is for the girl
Who doesn't know how to say no
For the girl who chokes on her words before they can leave her lips
For the girl who freezes in uncomfortable situations
For the girl who has played mime too many times
For the girl who has been made surface to sandpaper hands
For the girl who is always vocal
But in a single instant became victim to chokehold silence

This is for you
I have been a version of you too many times
I have worn the fingerprints on your phosphorescent skin
I have pulled off your clothing after a night of detachment
I see you in every mirror I look into
Every stained glass reflection
I hear you every time he doesn't ask
It is so easy
To forget you have a voice
But I know with certainty that you do
I know
That you understand the stillness
The quiet
The hush
The absence of language
Words held hostage
You are the only one
Who bares the heaviness of night kneeling on your chest
The added weight from all those
Who have touched you without permission
I want you to know
I would carry it for you
If I could
I want you to know
It is not your fault
That your calmness
Is often mistaken for compliance
It is not your fault
That you so quickly fall paralyzed
Playing statue may seem
Like the easy way out
But you were never meant
To stand still
We are built to listen through our bones
Your voice is a million vibrations
Received through the skin
You were made
To howl our names into the ground
Until the forest shakes its trees to their death
And no one is around
To hear it.
As I look up in the moonlight
at the wonders I can see,
could it be, perhaps that somebody is
looking right back down at me?

Have they got me in their sights right now?
Are they studying our race?
Are they deciding what to do with us,
'cause they think we're a disgrace?

Are they analysing human-kind
and are they figuring us out?
Do they think they understand
what people really are about?

Perhaps they use their birds eye view
and watch us scorch this earth?
Or maybe we're just an experiment
and they've watched since planets birth?

Can they see so many dying
in countries off afar?
Can they see us drain resources
and put them in a car?

Can they witness the atrocities
we inflict upon our own
as we enter into wars with them
and destroy each others homes?

Can they plainly see the poor who die
because they cannot get the aid?
Do they think this idiotic
when they compare how some are paid?

Do they think that we are watching
as our creatures become extinct?
Can they see why there are shortages
and that it's people who are linked?

Maybe they can see the answer?
Perhaps they followed the trace
and the answer for the rest of them
is to destroy the human race?

Perhaps like us mere mortals
who will just take the vermin out.
Perhaps to them we are the vermin
and that's been proved to them no doubt?

Maybe we are on probation
whilst they figure what course to take?
Maybe that are trying to see
if we figure out our mistake?

Or perhaps I am just looking up
and there is nothing looking back
and the world is never going to
get itself back onto track?
13th September 2014
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