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 Mar 2014 pushthepulldoor
KA
My Muse
 Mar 2014 pushthepulldoor
KA
In her perfect beauty
framed by a second while meeting her
her will to take her time
my need overwhelming
like a pocket watch ticking slowly
growing louder every second
her lips full of promise
breathing the same air
rhythm beats of her blood pumping
a sight beyond large or small
my mouth needs to wonder through her
she is my air

... to live is to need her



KT Mar 14, 2014
Dear Human (at first I wrote narrow minded *******),

This is not a hate poem, although it started out as one
it's something finished before my time
a game already won

My tendons would love to stretch 15 minutes before beginning the race but I wake up every morning to a piercing toast, a celebratory guffaw
of an after party having been exploited and raw
there is no point for me to stretch
metaphorically that is
for if i don't stretch before I start my day
I tweak like a bike in need of WD40

I can't speak because everything I saw deserves an explanation
scratch that
I can't speak because I'm afraid of judgement like
heavy wet cement, I'll drown in my unspoken words though
so I write these down
back to the point

Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a *****
if I don't stretch my aching quaking body can't **** right
and if I can't **** right
every other stressor strangles my already mangled mind and body
Depression is wet cement dripping from my air vent
molding my notches and bolts stone solid
yet, I have to get up and stretch to walk amid, among, noodles

Falling asleep is difficult because I want to get the night over with
and Waking up is difficult because I want to get the day over with
Not a study session waiting for snacks more
my socks are stuffed with thumbtacks
and I forgot everyone finished their after party
so I'm pounding my feet sprinting
for a finish line
I'll never cross

Like when I woke up in the hospital,
banging my head against the wall believing I could smash my way outside on this day, three years ago
My mania surged lightning bolt electric jolt a thousand watt volt
I would never be released until normalcy increased
so I spent every waking moment stretching
desperately trying to release the
desperate stress molded
in my body

Depression is wet cement, I have learned to slip through it's cracks
by releasing the firey strength
I hold inside my bones
I hold inside my soul
Oh human, please hear me with your open ears
yet if you can't, I have no fear
your judgement cannot touch me
I am on fire, all victims of depression
you, we, are not weak
merely misunderstood by false desire
we are misunderstood
Blazing wet cement on fire
I'm staring out the taxi window
Watching the droplets of rain
Hit the ground in agony
The wailing sound of the
Clouds rubbing against
Each other in sync with the cry
Within me
I am NOT sad; neither am I happy
I just didn't see you today
And I feel as if I'm missing
A huge part of me
We haven't even spoken
I don't know the sound of
Your voice
But I know the beaming smile
That catches my eye every
Time I get to campus
The radiance in your eyes
That somehow manages to
Travel in the medium of air
And seeps in my veins
To become something deeper
And more meaningful

It's YOUR happiness that
Glints from afar that
I am missing
I didn't see my crush today. Who knew missing someone you've never spoken to felt this way?
darkness under light
defines the contours of space
shadow deepens shine
 Mar 2014 pushthepulldoor
Heather
A cigarette. A ****** cigarette.
You discovered that I
was a habitual liar.
All from the stubbed cigarette
at my feet.
I didn’t blame you.
I would never want to be
with someone so filthy.
It’s hard, you know.
Your first lie is like the first injection
It’s the rush, baby.
And then you find yourself
unable to pull away.
Always,
eventually going back.
Lies are blameless
The liar is to blame.
I love you
But not enough to stop
And you discovered this-
this habit of mine
all from a cigarette.
A cigarette. A ****** cigarette.
you are an unbreakable habit.
your love is like a cigarette and
i'm addicted to it. i want you
running through my veins
like nicotine, i'm never going
to shift this vice.
...

— The End —