i am 18 years old and i've kissed 17 boys. i've passed 16 classes, and cried at school 15 times. sophomore year i missed 14 days of school. i've figured out 13 ways to say "i didn't do my homework," and i am halfway through the 12th grade. my longest relationship lasted 11 months. i once left a picture up for 10 minutes, and received 9 comments about how unacceptable my shirt was. i have gone through 8 best friends and 7 phones. i've gotten lost on the road 6 times and i have 5 friends i plan to keep in touch with for the rest of my life. at my first job, i made $4 an hour. i've fallen in love 3 times, i've seen two therapists and i'm still holding on to this one thought that everything is going to be okay.
everything is going to be okay.

thousands of words exchanged everyday,
countless playful banters.
mostly about things that don't really matter.
however,
my heart still couldn't find a way
to say those 3 words i want to tell you
whenever i see you each day.

It depends on the ears
that they fall upon.
Every word
and every song.
The rhythm
and the rhymes of time,
how they rest,
in every mind.
The harmony,
inside your soul.
Those ballads
that bring you back home.
Forever there,
inside your heart.
Each one there
to play it's part.

you didn't plant roses in my mind.
you didn't cultivate a garden of the most exquisite flowers
in the saddest parts of me.
---
but you planted chrysanthemums there-
less common and striking, but known for their endurance.
but you slowly tended to all the weeds,
pulling them out one by one.
---
but you made sure that even after you were gone,
I'd be able to take care of myself.
with or without you.

stars

I'll never get tired looking for you
even in the darkest setting
even in a crowded place
I'll look for you

But one day this will end
a shiny star
now a black hole
we'll never escape this

But we'll continue to defy the odds
so take my hand and together we'll venture through these constellations
I'll never let go*
because now we're shining bright