you said “maybe
if you
          let it out
a little
         more
you wouldn’t
       explode.”

But
        you
                don’t
understand.
    ­            I
                    cannot
      let it out
                  slowly
like air from a
                       balloon.

all too much it’s all too much it’s always too much it’s too much too much too much too much too much too too too too too too t

You can change, you can grow, but forever and for eternity, you’ll always be her.

The same eyes, the same nose. The same heart, the same toes.

Everything you change is only an upgrade from what you were.

The same tongue, the same ears, the same freckles, and the same tears.

You’ll always be her.

Where once my dreams
Were filled with stars,
A need
Surpassing desire,
But as you set
Your gaze upon me,
I found
No need for them
At all.

I don’t want to remember,
this last month of November.
Gouge it from my eyes,
carve it off my lips,
scrub it from my soul.
You see,
the moon rests high,
while the tides pulled low
and waiting for that change
merely hardens the soft blow.

Attracted to the broken
Like myself
I yearn to be fixed
To make amends
To feel once again
To wake up to my favorite person at my side
It’s not in the cards for me
And it wasn’t for you
So broken
No matter the repairs
I’ll never feel like new
Find me in a thrift store
Along with the other gems
Marked down due to being used

I wish someone was proud of me
More than just one,
more than just one.
More than just my lover.
I wish my mom was proud of me
for academics, poetry
art, music
anything I do
I wish my dad was proud of me
My stepfather
My best friend.
I wish I had something to be proud of
more than just my love
and lack of envy.
With long brown painted nails
tap-tap-tapping on a keyboard
Wondering what I could be good at
How I could make you proud
But that'll never happen, I think
too much on the plate,
too much to see,
to much to know.
I wish someone would be proud of me,
more than just my lover,
that sees every side of me.

I'm not heartless, I've just learned to use my heart less