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questions don’t live rent-free.
i pay for them daily
in the pause before i open my eyes,
in the stretch of silence between
brushing my teeth and leaving the house.

i don’t even want answers.
just quiet.
just enough stillness
to make coffee without thinking
about my funeral.

who will be there?
will i even make it
to grandchildren?
will they know the sound of my laugh,
the weight of my arms,
the way i stare too long when i love something?

will i ever be
a dad?
a husband?
someone who feels like home
to someone else?

someone worth
having children with,
worth staying for?

the urge to leave
never says goodbye.
it just lingers in the corners,
waits until i’m lowest,
then whispers its name
like an old song.

and still,
none of this showed up today.
these thoughts didn’t knock.
they didn’t barge in
like a drunk friend
or some stranger needing a phone call.

they’re more like
the sheets i haven’t changed,
the dust that outlines the mirror,
The trash in my car.

they don’t haunt me.
they live here.
and they stay
because i let them.
Your eyes are painted with much turmoil and it hurts just to look at them
forgive me for not looking you in the eye I’m tortured by a truth you don’t want to hear
Tortured by your future that seems unclear

A cloud has blurred everything you are , dissipated in that smoke of yours , my love no longer reaches your soul , only hovers over you in a bore

Words only caress your heart perhaps a hug could play that part ?
Tell me what drives you mad
So we can find the breaks fast
Time flies so fast , I’ve already forgotten who we were without the crazy parts .
The depravity of existence,
Fallen down, in one fell swoop.
Hopes and dreams like crushed glass,
Gripped within hands of the cutthroat.
Try as you might to overcome it all,
Fight rampant for the chance to soar.
Oh fly, oh,
Oh fly you will.
But the condition of life,
Is that you, my child,
Have wings
Of wax.
- C.c


I've actually wrote this poem to accompany a trio I composed for oboe, saxophone and electric bass. The composition shares the same name and has not been premiered.
Ok, the acrylic
Through the digitally-pulsating acrylic
Cool beans, and that residue of it altogether in a literal sense, like eating type, on the pattern with passage.
No, no but not the very good sense
Lyle 7d
Forgetting things that happened
Five minutes ago
So hungry I’m nauseous
Then eating two bites and being full
Waking up after sleeping all night
And still being exhausted
Aches in my legs
Talking takes effort
So does breathing
Zoning out randomly
Fidgeting all the time
Not enjoying things
That used to make me happy
Not excited
For anything
What is wrong with me
nivek 7d
One seagull on the wind
one song to share
one wave to ride
one fish to catch
one egg to lay
one chick to feed
one life to live.
one seagull on the wind.
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