I engaged with ghosts.
I entertained notions bold.
I questioned my morality,
all the while promising my life away, happily.
So silly of me to promise what I did not have.
So reckless of me to treat his heart like a game of *** for tat.
God, forgive me.
I deserve to know this pain,
this tragedy coursing,
isolating,
haunting me with all we were to be.
Please heal him of all I've done,
and all the ones before me,
before my knife plunged.
I wonder why my heart was ripped out of my chest..
So easy to forget that I carved out his own.
God, cleanse me of all men who have wounded me.
Let me see them for who they were, lovely, broken people.
Restore my framework,
my bones battered and bruised.
To you, I release all fear and rage,
to be present in this day, anew.
God, forgive us,
restore us,
I implore you.
For every person on this Earth today
who sheds tears, dismayed,
who have not the strength to pray..
Heal us of what causes such fear and pain in the first place. I thank you.
In Jesus's name I pray.
Amen.