A few months ago
I found comfort in walking
dangerous streets
alone
drunk
tired
upset

I could have walked
for hours
because the feeling
of something possibly going wrong
soothed me

Perhaps whatever I may have met
on those dangerous streets
would have been more real
more terrifying
than the monsters I faced
with closed eyes
and a clenched jaw
each night
and every morning

I no longer
see those streets
with blurred vision
but instead eyes
that cannot look in as many directions
as I would like
because that gum wrapper
might not be
what I think it is

Maybe my fears are fading,
no longer stored inside
where no one can see them

Maybe my walls have broken
and I feel too vulnerable
to face anyone I may encounter
because I am not confident
that anyone else
would come
to my rescue