sometimes i wonder
how i would have turned out
if you didn't decide that i was worthless.
would i be the person i am today?

would i still be wandering
lost around my own house
in a drugged up daze,
blood dripping from my wrist?

would you still ignore
all the ashes on my carpet
and the bottles and baggies
making a rug of their own?

would you still bring me
the things that i ask for
even though you see
what they are making me into?

would you still turn away
when i shove my arms in your face
forcing you to see
my feelings in the flesh?

suddenly, i realize that i am glad
you decided i was not worth your time
because you only made me
into a shell of who i was

not who i am now.