drink, drank, drunk
hello there
what? you like Mumford and Sons
let's get out of here
wow, this is a comfy bed
wow, you're attractive
wow, that's a lot of Jack to finish up

kiss, kiss, kiss
truth is erased when mixed with alcohol
funny, isn't it

wow, let's do this!
your hands are so soft as they brush my face
and you sweep the hair behind my ears
kiss, kiss, kiss
wow, this is fantastic

Facebook Status; Relationship: .....
that's not my name
who is this girl
what
what
what

ugh.
not again.
used.
really.
****.


Good Morning :)  
what?
alright... Hey, there!

confusion
why am I always #2
side chick
really
ugh
this *****

his eyes show me that everything is alright
he wraps me up and I know in that moment
he speaks the truth
finally.

then the stories come out,
low self esteem and complicated life issues that still
are left as a mystery to me

he drinks to cure the numbness
but it only leads to more
I want to help
but can't find the words
****

new day.
he smiles and once again reminds me
everything is going to be okay
I believe him


drink, drank, drunk
wow, I am used
I am number 2
he only wants me for one thing
how could I do this to myself again
I let myself slip up again
that poor girl
the girlfriend
the girlfriend that isn't me
all these voices flood my head and repeat the obvious

no one will ever love you.
ouch.

all my self respect dissolves into my tears
I am alone.
I could make him choose?
what do I even say?
when I am with him all my problems seem minimal...
why would I leave that feeling to go to waste....
oh right, because being number two is disrespectful to myself.


decisions
decisions

Then I see his smile and I am conflicted
why me?

why me?

self respect or a cheater...
"if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you..."
my friends make this clear
the answer seems obvious
it should be easy to choose...
yet why am I having such a hard time
letting go.