If I could make sense of who I am
Perhaps I'd see you clearly
If I could make heads or tails of me
Then, maybe, I could begin healing.
If my brain could find order and peace
It's possible I'd love you freely
If I knew that I was right side up or upside down
I may finally stop abandoning you, may stop leaving.

But I've no clue who the mirror is showing me,
I've never seen that thing once in all my days.
And, *******, there's pitiful little good in knowing me
But you stayed and that saves me in a million, million ways.

If you'd put your arms around me, I know I'd push away
And if you told me you loved me I'd say 'it's just a phase.'
I haven't jumped into the unknown because I'm scared of where I'll land.


And I can't trust you until I make sense of who I am.