Aug 2014
Paranoia.
Explain it to me.
Help me understand the fear that lies within me.
Why I suddenly feel that my candle of life,
Is quickly burning away at both ends of the stick.
The fear, the fear.
It continues to grow.
From the seeds of paranoia that I personally sow.
Is it all in my head, or is the danger really there?
None the less, the uncertainty is what I cannot bear.
Every cigarette I've had.
Every time my throat aches.
There is no medication for regrets and mistakes.
Ignoring the warnings does not make them untrue.
Being ignorant can only lead to the downfall of you.
Diabetes or Cancer?
Malignant or Benign?
Everyone tells me that I'm, *probably fine.
But they don't understand that the battle inside,
Is convincing myself that it's all in my head.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
Miguel, you're okay.
These are the mantras that I repeat every day.
To myself in my head, or out loud when alone.
Hoping that one day my health will atone.
Explain it to me.
Help me understand the fear that lies within me.
Why I suddenly feel that my candle of life,
Is quickly burning away at both ends of the stick.
The fear, the fear.
It continues to grow.
From the seeds of paranoia that I personally sow.
Is it all in my head, or is the danger really there?
None the less, the uncertainty is what I cannot bear.
Every cigarette I've had.
Every time my throat aches.
There is no medication for regrets and mistakes.
Ignoring the warnings does not make them untrue.
Being ignorant can only lead to the downfall of you.
Diabetes or Cancer?
Malignant or Benign?
Everyone tells me that I'm, *probably fine.
But they don't understand that the battle inside,
Is convincing myself that it's all in my head.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
Miguel, you're okay.
These are the mantras that I repeat every day.
To myself in my head, or out loud when alone.
Hoping that one day my health will atone.
Hypochondria. I don't know why, but suddenly I've been giving a huge crap about my health. To the point where it actually keeps me up at night. I just had to let out my frustrations somehow. So here's a window into the anxiety that I feel.
(24/M/Los Angeles)
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