The idea of living without you terrifies me so much
that I have to do it.
I want to tell you but the words sit in my stomach
like bombs.

I don't want to lose who I love,
just to get a temporary satisfaction,
but after a while my pain went numb.
We'd fight and your words became knives that
  no longer cut.
I no longer felt the need to baby your feelings,
didn't care what was up.

Yet a familiar love has kept me around.
Because our love is like walking down the same alley,
getting mugged 8 times in a row,
hoping there will be something different
about today.

And today,
thoughts of you are like a pinch
in a numb place under my heart.
And I'm not sure if I should stay.