Anticipating discomfort as high heels climb stairs with light steps to avoid clicks. Attempt to dodge the cigarette brigade with quick nods and hellos. Finally on their floor with labored breathing. They are so loud- heard down the hall. Behind the door there are friends waiting for the next best topic. Greeting friends, drunk and drinking more. Open the door to loud friends, laughing over each others voices. The only thing worse than the clamor is the spilt stout that nobody noticed. But hugs and wise cracks are still in order. Holding hands with a cup of speaking serum, with eyes that already seek a clock. It's too early, we've only just got here. Obligation to talk. Spy the lascivious in peripherals- in the corners of the room. What languid lovers narcotics make. High stakes with low gains, leaves mouths with ****** tastes. Words exchanged in witty waste. Spy the conversations that selective hearing couldn't rid about you- about him, about them and the trouble we're in. Avoid eye-contact, but answer to "What's going on with you? New job?" with a smile and a nod and an "It's cool." Burning desire for an air without so many ****** breaths. Someone is hurling in the bathroom- and friends are singing desperation. Tap toes and fidget, avoid more conversation. Everyone is so involved, now. Gravitating around the life of the party. The foyer's empty. A platinum opportunity. Fake a bathroom break. Apartments don't have back-doors, and comings a regret. Slip past the lazy leg bridges. No one's looking yet. In between coffee tables and couches. No one's looking, yet. but some are rising for the night trips of cancer indulgence. Jet for the door and ever so silently close it when you're beyond for relief. The air is already colder- slip off the heels and run barefoot in to the rest of the night, safe and alone with yourself and your secrets. Ignore the question texts. Houdini? Disappearing acts. No, you're Candy. you don't let them in your heart. Ignore the question texts, don't explain yourself next time either.