it's evening on a slightly sunny day,
not my favourite weather - i prefer rain and thunder and lightning,
that matches how i feel better.

i didn't manage to sleep much last night,
the badness was running through my veins and wouldn't allow me to relax,
the urge to run and run but nowhere to go,
nowhere's far enough to escape yourself.

i'm being punished - although i'm not sure what for,
although it may not seem like it i try my best to cope,
i really do,
but it's just all too much.

if i can't run i'll disconnect in any way i can,
smoke,
drink,
smoke,
drink,
smoke.

my body has been clean for two days now but everything feels dirtier and duller than ever.

*n.l.b