Tuesday.
Cold.
Dark.
I was worried.
That gut wrenching feeling tangled my insides together so tightly.
'let's take a walk'
Oh no.
What did I do.
What did I say.
'here, Ruth....'
That's my name.
What happened babe?
'I'm sorry.'
No. No. No.
Speak.
Your voice.
Use it.
Why.
What.
'I can't do this anymore.'
What.
'I love her'
Who.
'we've been together a few months.'
Liar.
'I don't want to cheat.'
Did you ever love me.
'you changed.'
I cut myself.
'you're not as happy'
Of course not.
'I can't take it.'
Okay.
Then it was over.
Everything.
Gone.
The only reason I'd held on to life.
Eight months.
Disappeared.
My heart was numb for a second.
That gave me the power to walk away.
But in just a second,
It smashed.
Into a billion little peices.
Walking hurt.
Crying hurt.
The bathroom floor was cold.
I was that girl.
Alone.
On the ground.
Broken.
Then I found shelter in something I'd only ever tried rarely.
The sharp jagged metal launched by my very own fingers caressed my wrist just enough so I could distract myself.
He ******* destroyed me.
And my body.
And my soul.
And my mind.