Dear whoever this concerns,

I have come up with a solution with my little problem.
My little problems that concerns sexuality.
I must know what gender I like at this very moment.
I little innocent 15 year old who struggles with this more than she struggles with breathing.
You asked me if I would date her and I said yes, but I'm not gay.
You asked me if I would date him and I said yes, but I'm not straight.
You told me I was confused if I didn't know who I liked.
What body parts I wanted to touch when I had ***.

I've said many times how I do not wish to have *** and you never
cared.
"You're too young to think like that" my mother would say but
am I?
All of the other kids are having *** and kissing and I don't want to.
I really just don't want to, but it's because I'm 15?
Because my hormones haven't kicked in?
I don't believe so, and it's not that you raised me to not want that.
I believe there is something that we don't know yet.

Maybe if we didn't give a **** about what we yearned for.
What we wanted when we fell asleep at night or woke up in the morning.
What we think when we look at someone attractive.
Or what we think when they talk or laugh.
Or what their body looked like in a certain outfit.
What we thought of their haircut.
The possibilities of thoughts towards the same and different gender
go on.

But what if we didn't care about that?
What if we solely focused on whether or not they made us happy.
It doesn't matter their personality, only if they made us happy.
Happiness is important like my father told me.
To not be happy is a sad thing and it breaks others hearts.

So I have decided that if I'm happy when I'm with someone then that means I'm happy.
I don't care their personality, appearance, their history, or anything like that.
I will focus on how they make me feel.
How they will make me feel will be happy.
Something I've never really been.