The vacant stare
sunken in eyes
sad eyes I saw
sitting at a table during prom night.
Right now you could really sue shoulder
hanging on to the edge till its over.
So much going around but you were
too calm
too collected.
I knew that blank expression from experience.
I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not mad.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no
My mom told me not to worry her.
My brother told me I was scaring him.
My bestfriend...I hit her and told her never to speak to me again.
I wouldn't let me boyfriend kiss me.
They all wanted to help
helpless
They all wanted to care
selfish
They all tried to comfort
they weren’t you
I yelled and screamed
I couldn’t breathe.
I shut them out,
I cursed at you.
I hated you
I cried for you
I resented you
up there by choice, how dare you.
But now I know you are my angel instead
you look after me in trouble and I do miss you.
So do they
you had to have it your damn way.
I only see you in my head
but for now that’s okay.
Something about the way you were
You were broken from head to heart
but I needed saving.
I wish you wrote a letter
I wish you ran away,
left me out.
I wish you said goodbye
I wish you never told me
I didn’t want to cry.
Is anybody out there?
I wanted you to stay.
Sometimes I wish you would have taken me too..
far far away.
We were 1 week to late weren’t we,
funny how things play out.
You knew all the steps, you hid it well.
When I got that call I wept and fell
on my knees and cried and pleaded,
please please come back
that’s all I needed.
You weren’t all there, in that head of yours.
dark and empty
you were sad but you lived like you would die
tomorrow
tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.
I started to go crazy
I saw A’s on the floor
and had prayers that were answered in seconds.
I had bets that wouldn’t lose.
The wind surrounded me.
Songs of u s played on repeat.
I thought it was all you.
Your color was blue,
and everyone knew
but no one was as blue
blue as you.