If for a moment time wasn't at my throat swinging like a pendulum with a cold blade at the end,
I’d challenge the world with that moment and in just a handful of seconds change everything —
but reality pulls back, those frozen seconds slip from my grasp, and I’m stuck in the infinite now;
trapped between the longing past and the hopeful future.

I’ve pondered the certainty of desolation;
The impossibility of the divine forever moments,
Against time’s constant undertowing motion,
we cannot contest / we cannot relent!

But now, as I stand and observe the city lights through the low-hanging mist,
I ponder the dark questions about humanity and what it has become from the early days through to now.
Is there not more wonder than a green blade of grass cracking through the crushing weight of the sidewalk’s concrete slab at my staggering feet?
I may enjoy this night — but I don’t.
I enjoy life despite a sorry excuse for love in a pseudo-relationshitstrorm and cheap *** with a sour aftertaste of pure regret.

I am heartbroken, and heartless.  Trying to make up for it with imagined feelings for a person who was never there.

And when I see all the people around me finding love in a bare, bar bathroom stall, I wonder in all my pity: did I miss out on opportunity?