I woke up late today and
looked in between my sheets
Hoping to meet the
Corners of the body I loved too much
And too often hid myself underneath.
The safety of your sleep
So close
Pulling the universe inside of me.
I couldn't find you
Did you leave again?
I made the bed that is now to big for me
Evening out the
Wrinkles of your space
Only to find a receipt
And a thumb tack that fell behind the side table.
I put it in my pocket
And allowed the cool air to
Bite my lungs
As I stared at the tapestry you hung for me
Because I was too short to reach.
(I could never reach.)
Where did you go?
I checked underneath the hanging sheet
Longing to meet the arms
I lost too easily in the night
The familiar comfort of your warmth
Slowly extinguishing itself
From me.
I opened the window
Inviting the sun to fill the space
Of my empty room
But the clouds slipped in and
Lingered in your chair
Behind the door that
I can no longer sit in.
Where are you hiding?
I ran downstairs with a handful of creamer
To make coffee for two
Only to find the mugs we shared
Were already used.
Will you be back?
I looked outside hoping to meet you
And forgive you for your temporary absence.
The safety of you I took for granted
My desperation to touch you
And keep you safe
And comfort you
And hold you
Slowly paralyzing the uneven beats
Of my swelling heart.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
I didn't mean it, I take it back.
I understand.
I wish I knew.
Will you be back?
But as it turns out
I woke up early enough
To say good bye
Instead of good morning
And good luck
As the sun came in
And buried itself underneath
The salty dunes dusted around the corners
Of my eyes
That could no longer find you.