I’m so ******* terrified of love
I am so ******* terrified of putting myself out there.
And I feel like I loved you because you were ******* gorgeous and amazing and most of all
you were kind

I felt that love would not be a battlefield of angry limbs
and spited curves
with you

And I don’t know what to do because I feel like
I spent so much of my time working my way up to being capable of you even just you

that I might eventually be able to brave a rougher existence

That when you didn’t happen for me I essentially cut the bridge open beneath my feet
once everyone had hastened across.

And now I’m stuck.