do you know
what's harder than
crying?

when people think
you're fine
because your eyes
don't look puffy
nor are they bloodshot.

do you know
what's harder than
losing sleep?

when people think
you sleep peacefully,
dreaming behind your closed eyelids.

do you know
what's harder than
living?

when people think
you've moved on,
looking for a new life.

the hardest thing of all, though,
is when i have to go through them all,
but without you.