i did not lose, nor did i win this year.
i only made sure that i would make it.
and though i did, i would not be dancing in glee now.
for deep down in my heart,
that is not a win for me at all.
night after night, day after day,
i drowned in tears ,
but every struggle shattered,
changed me.
i am in so much more pain and rage now;
i want the state of oblivion
in my subconscious mind back.
only i would not wish that because
i have finally patched up the wounds
that my messed-up brain has inflicted
onto my torn heart.
therefore 2024,
the very definite definition of winning
is not the same as winning an Oscar or a Nobel Prize
as defined in the dictionary;
it differs when compared to fighting against
all the odds in life and/or for your life.
but, i believe that..
winning can sometimes mean losing
in the context of objectivity
in life’s entirety,
so we could find a solid footing
in the daily, weekly, and monthly moments
of struggles and challenges
that have made us weak and vulnerable this year.
...
as i wrap everything up this year,
all that i have to say is:
life is not a competition or a race;
for if it were, it would be humanity’s
most futile and mirthful one.
-boonthemoonluv