There are ways in which I let myself indulge in your presence
And when I can pretend that were more than what we are
When I pretend to absentmindedly move my leg so it just so happens to touch yours
And I feel the burning of the contact even through the fabric that separate us
It feels as big of a declaration of love as screaming the words out loud would be
I find myself creating and following these intricate rituals to create contact when I know there shouldn’t be any
I pretend to forget things at your house just so that I may see you again even for a moment
Today I drank alcohol even though I knew that I shouldn’t mix it with my medications
I fell into a dream state where the world felt warm, and right and in that room alone with you I knew I belonged nowhere else
In that dimly lit room I saw you in the light that I’ve been avoiding seeing you in
Because when I looked at your hands they seemed so soft and like they would fit perfectly in mine with interlocked fingers
I saw your skin glowing and as I looked at the way you shined I found my self unable to concentrate because of how in love with you I felt