I suppose I should be happy, My God gave me a blessing by taking away my blessing, The blessing I was so confused about. My dear, my precious Firdous.
I suppose I must be happy, Every inch of my brain is telling me to be happy, But why is there a ringing in my ears; And so much weight on my chest, It's so **** aggravating.
I suppose I could be happy, except that I; I demand silence, I demand peace, I demand anything but to feel like this- Worthless, insignificant, trash.
I suppose I am happy, To be the puppet of a universe filled with So much standard anomalies... That the universe did not curse me to ****** my own kin... that I didn't curse my precious with a life...
Oh the little things we tell ourselves to make it easier to live for another day, Oh but I suppose, I suppose its necessary. It's **** necessary.
Goodbye my precious. ♡
-fir.m
I had a miscarriage today. I can't believe that a week ago I was baffled with what decision to make and now at this moment, with that precious no longer inside me, I know exactly what I want/ed. The universe sure knows to make a mockery of us and our insignificant lives. And don't dare say that life is significant when basically nothing is in our control and free will is but an anceint lie.