yesterday
or was it today? i can't really tell
i saw God
more clearly than i've ever seen anything

she was
struggling to breath
unable to understand
why everything was pain
why she'd been so alone
away from all those she loved so much

her eyes bleary and fading
joy erased
but we were there with her
she could feel us again
her children and sisters huddled against her
equally at a loss
for one last image

but the last image she gave me
was when the sedative finally kicked in
and i sat face to face with her
gently stroking her beautiful head
she finally made sounds of joy again
or they could have been pain
but i think they were joy
i think i saw joy again in her eyes
i think the medicine had relieved the fear and pain
just enough for her to feel the joy of me loving her

but that moment was cut short
as they took her away
i cried “goodbye sweet baby”
sweet Angel, sweet Love
then i fell apart
completely

the next time I saw God
all the life had departed from her
all that remained for me
was her still, beautiful form
eyes open, but lifeless
and my eyes are open, but lifeless
until I see God again