i have butterflies
every single one unique in its own way
beautiful delicate wings
with intricate patterns and a variety of colors
each individually carved from stone
by the anxious claws that embed themselves into my skin
i focus on those butterflies
if only to distract me
from my thoughts in my head
from my tingling fingers turning numb
from my pounding heart
and from the air that is no longer in my lungs
i focus on those butterflies
on the way their rough wings scrape along the inside of my stomach
their screams from being crushed by those sharpened claws
and the heavy
sickening feeling
they leave behind