Nov 2020
some days are worse than others. the tide pulls me under most times.
no buoy or life jacket to keep me afloat.
it's more like an anchor dragging me down into the depths.
some days I can hardly even breathe. my chest hurts from the moment I wake up to the moment I try to sleep.
but I'm just sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I can never swim in.
i look in the mirror and the smile I see is not the one you gave me so long ago.
its just a ghost of a memory I can never get back.
i'm getting better at tricking the darkness into letting it's grip off of my heart.
i'm getting better at keeping my head above water.
i'm getting better at pretending it's all alright even though I'm constantly breaking inside.
i don't know how much more I can break.
i sure do miss you being here.
you were my life jacket that kept me safe from the most devastating hurricanes.
i don't know what I did to make it all go away.
please come home.
no buoy or life jacket to keep me afloat.
it's more like an anchor dragging me down into the depths.
some days I can hardly even breathe. my chest hurts from the moment I wake up to the moment I try to sleep.
but I'm just sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I can never swim in.
i look in the mirror and the smile I see is not the one you gave me so long ago.
its just a ghost of a memory I can never get back.
i'm getting better at tricking the darkness into letting it's grip off of my heart.
i'm getting better at keeping my head above water.
i'm getting better at pretending it's all alright even though I'm constantly breaking inside.
i don't know how much more I can break.
i sure do miss you being here.
you were my life jacket that kept me safe from the most devastating hurricanes.
i don't know what I did to make it all go away.
please come home.
(18/F/hell)
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