I went on a date today. this isn’t going to be a poem about how I found true love, or how I met someone and suddenly my problems all disappeared.
none of that happened. this isn’t some fairytale and I won’t sugarcoat my words. I’m still hurting. I’m still furious and confused and so, so tired. these past few months have not been pretty. there is no way to romanticize this pain, and there is no reason to.
these past few months have been breakup ***, followed by regret, and then a rush of hope. they have been relearning life and drinking far too much, blackouts and breakdowns and *****.
I am healing, and that takes time. I’m still emotional.
but I went on a date today. it’s not a remedy for magically forgetting. I didn’t forget. it didn’t bring me total closure.
but I laughed today. I listened today. I was listened to today. I talked about myself and my interests, and my trauma wasn’t a topic of discussion for the first time in a very long time. it was refreshing.
I went on a date today. this isn’t something that would be front-page news. there wasn’t some earth-shattering, incredible moment. my life has not changed.
but today I had fun. I felt relaxed and worry-free
and for the first time in a very long time, I went to bed reflecting on my day and not about all of the days I spent with you.