it swirls in my stomach, every time I breathe the poisonous fumes that are your words of apology.
for nothing save the commands of a god I don't believe in could conscript me into believing anything but the terrible existence you laid before my feet,
that I would be forced to face the harsh reality of my demons, alone.
I myself, would need to muster the courage to say no more,
to scream 'be gone' at the horrors in my mind that afflict me.

In this despair,
these rock bottoms pits
is where I have found strength I previously lay convinced I was bare of.
It, and only it,
will be the sword and the shield that will save me from this wretched state.
Not the false words on your lips.