I am swimming in an endless ocean At the mercy of temperamental waters My effort dictated by an apathetic sea The volatile storms give reason to my struggle But when the crashing waves cease And the tide is still I wonder why I am even swimming There is no land in sight No clear direction Yet if I desist I begin to drown Sometimes I just hold my breath Sink into the depths of despair Just as I am ready to accept my demise My toes brush the jagged coral I mustn't rest on this bed Or I'll sleep forever Suffocating I muster what little energy I have left Launching off the seabed Ascending through the pain Gasping for air at the surface Relief washes over me I have escaped the jaws of death once more Only to end up back here Swimming in the endless ocean.
This poem depicts the struggles of suicidal depression. The way each day can seem like you are constantly at war with yourself just to maintain your sanity and repress the thoughts that try to take over. The bad days often better than the good because you have a justifiable reason to feel bad. Often you get tired and can want to sink into the dark place rather than fight it, but it can get so bad that you are ready to give up. Usually, at this moment you find a reason to survive and carry on. When you have reached rock bottom, it's either do or die. You work to pick yourself up and put the pieces back together, start getting out of bed, eating again and exercising, only to end up back where you started, fighting each day just to be ok.