The betrayal
You’ll never see it coming
And it all started with laughter,
Conversations, games and
A bottle
with no trace of taste
Undetected, I swallowed the lot
And I remember the smirk faces
As I down each droplet of what
looked to be innocent soda
And my mind had lost its way
But found it back to remember...

This part,
where you were
Kneeling over my numb body
and a feeling of pain
As you push yourself up against me
And that’s when I felt cold.

I froze
With my eyes wide open
My mind blank with no thought
My body in a state of shock
And my eyes pooling with water
As all the strength in me drained
I couldn’t believe it,
You never asked.

My tongue forgot how to speak
My voice didn’t exist
And my muscles had no life
As you moan under your breath
In repeated motion
And your body is sprinting
To reach the finish.

For months, I've laid on the same couch
Every single day doing nothing but
Crunched up in shame
Feeling guilty and bad for myself
Like I did something wrong
Hid my tears from the people that pass me
Crying from the trauma
And every time I look at that spot
On the couch I once laid with all that shame,
I can see the print my body left—a dent
of my crunched up body, cushions wet with tears
And I’ll remember it.

You were my friend
And I thought you would protect me
But instead you scarred me
And now I trust no one.

And to you,
I was no longer a person.