Surreal
Is the voice that
Is speaking
Mine but not
Mine
I can hear it
Too clearly as if I'm
Listening to a recording
What am I saying?
What's the point

I hear my voice
The voice I speak
Are my words meaningful?
What am I saying?
I speak to be understood
And yet it's always about
Winning.

From speaking
To almost losing the end
Of my words to
Resigning myself
To what is,
My voice is always lost
Lost to their ears
Lost to my will
Lost to the body I was given.

I hear my voice and I
Don't want to.
I don't want to hear it
Not when the people
Around me also hear it
And yet refuse to
Think about my voice
My words.
I don't want to hear it

I don't want to hear my voice
Because it is what I don't want
I don't want to hear that I've
Given up